BOLSHINTSOV

Act? Yes, yes, I must act, I must earn, exactly. Only the thing is, Ignaty Ilyich . . . You’re my best friend, let me confess to you a weakness of mine: as you say, I wanted you to bring me here today . . .

SHPIGELSKY

Not wanted, but insisted, demanded.

BOLSHINTSOV

Well, yes, let’s say . . . I agree with you. But you see: at home I . . . I really . . . at home it seemed I was ready for anything, but now I’m getting scared.

SHPIGELSKY

What are you scared of?

BOLSHINTSOV

(Glancing at him from under his eyebrows) It’s risky, sir.

SHPIGELSKY

Wha-a-at?

BOLSHINTSOV

Risky, sir. Very risky. I must confess to you, Ignaty Ilyich, as . . .

SHPIGELSKY

(Interrupting) As your best friend . . . I know, I know . . . Go on.

BOLSHINTSOV

Exactly so, sir, I agree with you. I must confess, Ignaty Ilyich, that I . . . I’ve had very little to do with ladies, with the female sex in general; I confess to you frankly, Ignaty Ilyich, I simply can’t think what can be talked about with an individual of the female sex—and alone at that—especially with a young girl.

SHPIGELSKY

You surprise me. I don’t know what can’t be talked about with an individual of the female sex, especially a young girl, and especially alone.

BOLSHINTSOV

Well, yes, you . . . But what am I compared to you? That’s why I’m counting on you, Ignaty Ilyich. They say in these matters the hardest thing is getting started, so, for starting the conversation, couldn’t you slip me some pleasant little phrase, like, for instance, some observation—and I’ll go on from there. The rest I’ll somehow manage by myself.

SHPIGELSKY

I won’t slip you any little phrases, Afanasy Ivanych, because no phrases will be any use to you . . . but I can give you a piece of advice, if you like.

BOLSHINTSOV

I’d very much appreciate it . . . And as for my gratitude . . . You know . . .

SHPIGELSKY

Enough, enough. What, am I bargaining with you?

BOLSHINTSOV

(Lowering his voice) About the little troika, you can rest assured.

SHPIGELSKY

Enough, I said! So you see, Afanasy Ivanych . . . You are without question a wonderful man in all respects . . . (Bolshintsov bows slightly) . . . a man of excellent qualities . . .

BOLSHINTSOV

Oh, please!

SHPIGELSKY

Besides, I believe you own three hundred souls?

BOLSHINTSOV

Three hundred and twenty, sir.

SHPIGELSKY

Not mortgaged?

BOLSHINTSOV

I’m not in debt for a single kopeck.

SHPIGELSKY

Well, there. I’ve already told you you’re an excellent man and a top-notch suitor. But then you say yourself you’ve had little to do with ladies . . .

BOLSHINTSOV

(With a sigh) That’s right, sir. It might be said, Ignaty Ilyich, that I’ve shunned the female sex since childhood.

SHPIGELSKY

(With a sigh) Well, there. That’s not a flaw in a husband. On the contrary. But all the same, on certain occasions, for instance, a first declaration of love, it’s necessary to be able to say at least something . . . Right?