“I can’t right now.”

Okay, this isn’t about me. It’s about her. Even if it kills me, right now she needs space. I hold up my hands and back up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m not the kind of woman who runs to a man to solve her problems.”

“That’s absurd.” I’m coming out of my damn skin and stop to rub hands over my cheeks while I process her explanation. “I’m not a man. I’m your man.” The last syllable sticks on my tongue. “Or I wanted to be your man. That means I help you solve your problems.”

“How could I tell you something like that? Would you have even believed me?”

“Of course, I would.”

“Well, you’d be the first,” she mutters.

“What are you talking about?” My blood burns thinking of her going to someone else for help. “Who did you tell?”

Lilly

Being strong helps us survive bad times. Being brave allows us to change our future. Back then I survived by telling myself over and over that I was stronger than one incident. That the rape could only destroy me if I let it. That I could be brave and hold my head up high, even if I was dying inside.

I was wrong. So many things were stolen from me in one night. It took months to calculate the damage and by then, it was a chasm of misery I thought I’d never overcome.

Finally, I stop my furious pacing and drop down on the couch. “Eventually, I had to face that what happened screwed me up more than I wanted to admit. Running to California didn’t make the pain go away.”

Rage and confusion cloud Z’s beautiful eyes. He’s shaking with the effort of not losing his shit. “What happened?” he rasps.

I reach down and trace the line on my left arm. “I couldn’t take it anymore.” Briefly, I glance up and meet his eyes. “Please, don’t…I can’t go back to that place. To explain where my head was at. I worked so hard…after.”

Z swallows hard and gives me a tight nod. “Tell me what you can. Please.”

“That’s how I found out I was pregnant.” I reach over and squeeze his leg. “You’re the first person I thought about when they told me…” Even though tears break free and roll down my cheeks, I smile.

Z doesn’t return the gesture. His jaw is too tense. Hot fury burns in his eyes. “Go on.”