<To Taki—Don’ts List #1>

• Absolutely no baths, ever.
• Do not look at or touch my body.
• When you sit, keep your legs together.
• Don’t get too friendly with Tesshi. Try to get him and Saya together.
• Don’t touch other boys.
• Don’t touch the girls, either.

<To Mitsuha—Don’ts List Ver. 5>

• I told you before, don’t waste my money. Remember?
• Don’t be late for school or work. Learn how to get there already.
• Don’t talk with an accent.
• Are you sneaking baths? I think I smell shampoo…
• Don’t get cuddly with Tsukasa, you idiot. People will get the wrong idea.
• Don’t get too friendly with Okudera-senpai, I’m begging you.

—But still… I grit my teeth reading another of Mitsuha’s journal entries.

Reading Taki’s entry in my diary, my blood starts to boil. Honestly, I swear, this is just completely…

That guy…

is such a…!

That girl…

You “tore up the court” playing basketball in gym?! That’s not me at all! Not only that, what are you doing jumping and bouncing around in front of the boys?! Saya even yelled at me and told me to keep my chest and stomach and legs covered properly! Male gazes! Watch your skirt! This is very basic stuff!!

Mitsuha, you twit, don’t go scarfing down crazy-expensive cakes! You’re freaking out Tsukasa and the other guys, and that’s my money!

It’s your body eating them, Taki! Besides, I’m working at that restaurant, too! Plus, you’re taking too many shifts. I can’t do anything fun this way.

That’s because you keep burning through my money! And seriously, no matter what I do, I can’t make those braided cords with your grandma!

On the way home, Okudera-senpai and I stopped and had tea! I tried to buy hers for her, but she paid for mine instead. “Take me out when you graduate from high school,” she said! Can you believe that? “That’s a promise,” I told her, all cool-like. Your relationship is blossoming, so, you’re welcome.

Mitsuha, what the hell do you think you’re doing?! Don’t go messing with my relationships!

Taki! What is this love letter?! Why is some guy I don’t know confessing to me?! Why did you tell him you’d “think about it”?!

Ha-ha. You aren’t using your assets at all. Don’cha think you’d be more popular if you let me run your life?

Don’t get full of yourself! You don’t even have a girlfriend!