My house. Our safe space with Grace’s nursery and all my books and our kitchen table. “But I didn’t … nobody asked me.”

“They only needed permission from one of you, and they talked to him first.” Her voice was so controlled, so even. That was the kind of strength and self-possession I wished I had. Instead, everything I learned was another blow that sent me reeling, until I couldn’t believe I wasn’t huddled in a fetal position on the ground.

But Grace was at my side in her car seat. One little leg bent and straightened out at an angle, her bare, uncovered toes flexing in the chill air. I had to be strong for her, hold it together, not break down. But I wasn’t prepared, not as a wife whose husband was being interrogated nor as a mom who hadn’t brought a diaper bag or a Binky. Grace probably already needed a new diaper, and if she’d had a blowout, she’d have to stay in her soiled outfit. Maybe we were free to leave, but the truth was, we had nowhere to go.

“So Michael’s not even here anymore?” My voice was rising, taking on a hysterical edge.

“You can meet him at home as soon as they’ve finished their search.” She checked her phone. “Almost done.”

I shook my head hard, then ran my hands through my hair and tugged, trying to clear my mind, to make this world seem real. A world where Lena might be dead, Brady might be a killer, Michael might be in custody.

“Kacy, I have to say something, and it’s important. Are you listening?”

I wrenched my attention back to Alondra. She said, “This is going to hit the news cycle. Maybe in the next few hours, maybe in the next few days. You need to be prepared for that. Is there somewhere else you can go, someone you can stay with?”

“I can’t go home?”

“You can …” Her brows were furrowed. “But you might need another place, a quieter place to stay. It’s hard to tell how these things will play out. Is there somewhere else you could go?”

I thought of an impersonal hotel or Elizabeth’s small house. “Not without Michael.”

Her lips thinned, and I could almost hear the words she was holding back. That’s what you say now, but wait until things get worse.

Then she glanced down at her phone. “All clear. You can go home.”

For now.