After nursing Grace, I left my folks to finish their coffee and play with her and took the travel breast pump out of my suitcase. Somewhere, a part of me I’d almost forgotten was making a separate plan. I’d need my parents to be able to feed Grace. That was crucial. And I couldn’t alarm them by racing out of the apartment. They’d come after me or call the police or somehow bring Lena’s attention to them. I needed them to stay here, stay safe, and let me go.

I could hear their soft voices. My dad must be looking up from his book while my mom talked to Grace. Safety, comfort, and family were all in the next room over, and I was going to leave it behind just to prove to myself that someone I hated wasn’t dead.

Once I’d pumped a full bag of milk, I pulled myself together and brought it to them. Dad was sitting with Grace on his shoulder, patting her gingerly, one of his cotton undershirts serving as a burp cloth. I put the bag of milk in the fridge and took the pump to the sink to clean it.

“So when Grace goes down for her nap,” I said, trying to keep my voice neutral, “if it would be okay, I’d love to go get my hair trimmed, even at one of those clip-’n’-go places. You noticed how long it had gotten.”

My mother frowned. “Is that safe? I thought the police wanted you to stay inside.”

My face felt flushed, and I swept my hair behind one ear, just the way I’d done as a teenager. “Nobody knows where we are; nobody will be following me to a haircutting place. It’s just so nice to have you and Dad here with Grace. And she usually naps for two hours. If she wakes up before I get back, you can give her a bottle.” I knew how tempting that would be for my mom.

Dad stopped patting Grace’s back. “How would you get there?”

“I can call a car—”

Mom shook her head. “No, you’d have to give your name.”

“She can take our Subaru,” Dad said. At my mother’s expression, he added, “We’re staying in a place Molly sublets from some guy who doesn’t even own the building in the first place. All her mail’s been going to us anyway, so she’s probably not affiliated with this address in the least. Kacy’ll duck out, get her hair cut or whatever, and be back before you know it.” He gave me a wink. Grace’s head was drooping on his shoulder. The calm rumble of his voice had put her to sleep. This was my moment.

Mom stood. “I just don’t think you need to be taking any unnecessary risks.”