If I told Michael what I was thinking, he’d be angry or afraid. He’d ask me not to go. He might even tell the police what I was planning. And he’d be right. My plan was reckless, but I wasn’t going to put Grace in danger. I’d do everything possible to hide where she and I would be staying, my parents would be there to look out for her, and once I got up there, once I was in the right area, I was sure I would find Lena. We’d been fated to be friends, at least it had felt that way, and now it felt like I was fated to be the one to find her.

I had to find her.

What was the alternative? Lena never caught. Michael and me living in fear, always terrified that Lena would be circling us, a shark prepared to strike.

Michael was thinking about all the ways he could keep us safe. I could tell from the tension in his shoulders and the grim set to his mouth that if he needed to, if he thought it would make a difference, he’d divorce me, he’d swear never to see Grace again, he’d go into witness protection to save us from the danger he thought he’d brought down on us. But he couldn’t stop me from wanting to keep him safe. I slipped my hand into his chilled one and twined my fingers with his, pressing our palms together.

“It’s okay.” I tried to put all the certainty I didn’t feel into my voice. “Grace and I will go to my parents’. We’ll hide out at Molly’s place. There’s no way anyone can trace us there. We’ll be safe. You do what you need to do.”

He tried to smile at me, but only half his mouth could manage it. “Thanks.” He squeezed my hand. “I’ll feel better knowing you are both someplace else.”

The detective was watching me closely, too closely. I knew I had no poker face, but surely there were enough emotions—terror, love, grief, an attempt at bravery—that she couldn’t detect the vein of sick anticipation running through it all.

Maybe this would be my new round of affirmations. I am brave. I am smart. I am going to save us.

And somewhere in the back of my mind, Lena whispered, You are going to kick ass.