The words evaporate before I can speak them, and maybe that’s a good thing. Because there’s no answer I can think of that doesn’t come back to blaming Michael, directly or indirectly. And this isn’t his fault. It isn’t his fault that I’m here. It isn’t his fault that I gained the ability to time travel. He’s unlucky, that’s all. And he doesn’t deserve the brunt of my existential crisis.

“But I can fix it. I can make it all better,” I say. “This all started when Dave, the guy who gave me his organ, died. I can stop that from happening.”

This time, Michael’s hand stops. He freezes like a statue, his cigarette about two inches from his face. Slowly, he turns to face me, his features twisting into confusion and mild apprehension.

“What are you talking about, Dre?”

I’ve never said it out loud, this plan. It’s been brewing in the back of my mind.

But once I start talking, I can’t stop.

“I’m a time traveler. I can use that. I know when and where he died; it’s public record. I can…go back and stop this boy’s brother—this boy I care about—I can stop his brother from dying. It wouldn’t be hard. I can just…I don’t know, just stop the car from T-boning him. Hold him up for a few minutes, or, if worse comes to worse, tell him what I intend to do. He’ll understand; he’s a time traveler. It’s not like he won’t believe me.”

“And what about you?” Michael asks.

“What about me?”

He sighs, putting the ashtray on the table by his bed, the cigarette stomped out in the glass. “You need that liver, don’t you? Not just to time travel, but to live, right? If he doesn’t die, then you don’t get the liver. If you don’t get the liver, you’re back in the hospital.”

“I’ll convince him to give it to me. Part of it, anyway; the liver regenerates.”

Michael arches his brow. “You expect him to do that for you? You’re not going to remember him, right? That’s how time travel works, all of this—you’ll forget him because it never happened, because you didn’t get the liver to be able to do these things.”

He’s beating around the bush, but I know where he’s going. He’s worried that I’m going to forget him as well. And I will. And maybe he’ll forget me too.

“I’ve thought about that too.”

“And? You’ve realized that this is a stupid idea and can never work?”