“I guess Jamie gave me the impression there’s a little more at stake.”

So that was what he was getting at. My future with Jamie. “What, because of the move?”

“How are you feeling about it?”

I sighed a weary sigh. “I don’t know how I feel. I really wish he didn’t have to go.”

“I remember you telling me you didn’t love living in California. Are you still feeling that way?”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’m changing my mind daily. I keep hoping something will stick, but so far, the only thing I know for sure is that I still don’t know what to do.” There was a lot I wasn’t saying. How much it still hurt that Jamie had kept me in the dark about California for so long, even if his reasons were well-intentioned. How much it hurt that even when he knew what was at stake, he still couldn’t prioritize me over his business. I’d told Jamie and Simon I was fine, and I wanted to believe I was, but I still felt the sting, no matter how reasonable I tried to be.

In a way, it was like there were two relationships on trial for the weekend. The fake one Simon and I had to convince my family was real. And inside my own heart, my real one with Jamie. I told myself I just had to get through the weekend with Simon, then I would have the emotional bandwidth to sort out how I truly felt about Jamie. But I couldn’t ignore it—the huge California-shaped cloud looming over my head. Nor could I ignore the Simon-shaped person sitting next to me and the role he might play in the sorting out of my feelings. Whether I wanted him to or not.

A question bounced around the back of my brain. I shouldn’t ask. Simon had just spoken of his loyalty to his brother, so asking might put him in an uncomfortable position. But he also might have insight I could benefit from. And seeing as how I was about to make a huge decision, I really wanted to ask. “Can I ask you something about Jamie?” There. Damage done. I’d committed.

“Sure. Anything.”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m dating two different versions of the same man.”

“Okay.”

“Jamie is impetuous and impulsive. Not in a bad way. He just knows what he wants, and he goes after it. I can relate to that. I’m like that in a lot of ways, but he’s a little like a barrel rolling down a hill, you know? He just goes and does without thinking, trusting he’ll hit the bottom eventually, thrilled at how fast he’s managing to go on the way.”

Simon chuckled. “That is a perfect description of Jamie.”