“Wait, wait!” I put up a hand to stop her. “I’m only mixed up in Damon Blundy’s murder to the extent that I drove along his road on my way to school—”

“Nicki,” Kate silences me with her loud head-teacher voice. “Listen. Spare me your innocent-until-proven-guilty speech. This isn’t about what you’ve done or haven’t done. Frankly, I couldn’t care less. I just don’t want to get close to anyone right now who’s going to bring any kind of trouble or stress into my life. I’m up to my eyes as it is. This is about protecting myself. Sorry if that sounds selfish. And I’m sorry if you’re in a difficult place at the moment, but—again, forgive me for being honest—you’re not the kind of friend I need. I thought you were. I thought you’d be fun—”

“Oh, I am, believe me,” I say, nearly choking on what feels like a red spiky ball at the back of my throat. “I’m great fun when I’m not being wrongly suspected of murder or trying to shake off strange men following me.”

“I understand that you’re angry, but I’m trying to be honest. I need friends who are going to lift me up, not drag me down. I really am sorry. And, just so we’re clear, this doesn’t affect Sophie and Ethan—all right? Try taking them out of my school and I’ll call the police and un-alibi you!”

Unbelievable. She’s actually trying to save face with a joke. Yes, let’s have a good laugh about me being trouble and best avoided.

I can’t bring myself to say anything in response. I turn and walk away from her house as fast as I can.

AN HOUR LATER, I’M sitting outside a pub—the first one I came to after my escape from Kate’s street—with a double gin and tonic, and my phone on the table in front of me. I can’t think, can’t do anything, can’t stop crying. The only advantage to being in the state I’m in is that no one wants to share my table, so I’ve got plenty of space.

Kate was supposed to listen to my long, weird story and tell me what to do. I was relying on her. It’s a danger, when you can’t rely on anyone close to you—you tend to get desperate and pick random strangers instead, put them on pedestals they haven’t earned and decide to rely on them.

Most people don’t do that, though. Only idiots like you.

OK, think, Nicki. You have no one to turn to apart from your own stupid self. What are you going to do?