“Nicki,” Adam says urgently. I don’t know what he thinks can be done. The words are out and can’t be taken back. I don’t want to take them back. “She didn’t threaten you.”

“She did, actually.” To Sergeant Zailer, I say, “My husband refuses to believe my mother would stoop so low, but she did threaten me. She said if I didn’t tell Adam the truth, she would. So I told him—and having told him, there’s absolutely no reason not to tell you, especially when telling you has the added advantage of making it clear I’m not a murderer.”

“Go on,” says Sergeant Zailer.

I sigh. Even prepared as I am, this is not going to be pleasant. “I behaved suspiciously on Monday morning on Elmhirst Road—I’m not denying that. I did a U-turn rather than drive past a certain policeman, but . . . my reason for doing so had nothing to do with Damon Blundy, dead or alive. It was the policeman I wanted to avoid.”

“Why?”

“Because I was embarrassed and ashamed about something I’m still embarrassed and ashamed about—although now I can bear to face up to it, whereas on Monday morning, I didn’t feel I could. I just . . . saw that policeman, panicked and had to get away from him as quickly as I could.” I clear my throat, but the lump in it is still there. “I suppose the difference is that now I have no choice but to face up to it. All right. I had a cyber affair with a man called Gavin. Well, a man who told me he was called Gavin—I doubt it’s his real name. One feature of this . . . relationship, if you can call it that, is that I sent him photographs of myself. Some were more explicit than others.”

“Go on.”

I glance at Adam. How must he feel, hearing all this a second time, in front of a stranger?

“I’m OK,” he says. “You can tell her. Don’t worry about me.” He turns to Sergeant Zailer. “I love my wife and I’m not going to let a brief stupid lapse turn me against her.”

Really? How about a brief stupid lapse of nearly half a century—my entire life, in fact?

“Your relationship’s none of my business, Mr. Clements. Go on, Nicki.”

I can’t. I can’t say the difficult part. Maybe if I start earlier in the story, it’ll be easier. “Gavin put an ad on a website called Intimate Links. Do you know it?”

“I’ve heard of it,” Sergeant Zailer says.