Nat knew they were outclassed; entering had been a massive mistake. Woody was doing his best, but in his eagerness to please, he was trying too hard. He sat awkwardly, bolt upright, with a goofy grin on his face. Nat noticed he had pink goo on his whiskers from the cotton candy, and brown goo on his chest from the stolen ice cream. They were the first to be inspected by the judges. A skinny lady with a wilting flower arrangement in her hair and more lipstick on her teeth than on her lips spoke kindly to Nat, as if sorry for him.

“And what is your … ah … beautiful dog called?” she asked.

Nat told her.

“And what breed is Woody?” she asked politely.

“He’s a German shepherd mix,” replied Nat.

The other judge, sweating in a tweed suit, snickered. “What’s he crossed with?” he asked. “A Wookiee?”

“He’s a lovely doggy,” said the lady, glowering at the tweedy man. “Good luck, dear.”

Nat smiled back weakly, hoping Woody wouldn’t take offense. The judges moved down the line to the pretty spaniel.

Mick and Apple were giving him thumbs-up signs, and Jude was smiling encouragingly. Nat bristled with embarrassment. It looked as though the judges were coming to a decision. The tweedy man was just about to step up to the microphone to announce the winners in reverse order when a commotion occurred at the ringside.

“Oi, Natalie! Look lads, it’s Natalie and her Amazing Mangy Mutt!”

There were titters from the crowd.

“Dog with the Most Appealing Face?” Teddy yelled. “Most Gimpy Expression is more like it!” A few others in the crowd laughed. Nat’s face was bright red and he could feel sweat trickling down the back of his shirt.

Woody stood up and strained against his leash. “Just ignore him,” said Nat, holding on tightly but sensing big trouble ahead.

“Ah, listen! Baby Natalie’s talking to her ickle doggy like he’s a real person,” chortled Davis, enjoying the attention of the crowd.

In a moment of dreamlike slow motion, Woody charged. Pandemonium followed. Nat, his hand nearly wrenched off, let go of the leash and watched in horror as a snarling Woody hurtled across the ring to where Teddy Davis was standing. The smile slid from Teddy’s face as he turned around and pushed his way through the crowds, who were thoroughly enjoying this unexpected entertainment.

Nat soon lost sight of Woody and, followed by Mick, he fled across the ring trying to catch a glimpse of him. Bystanders scattered, tables were knocked over, vegetables and homemade cakes went flying, people were screaming.