Back in the room, climbing up onto the bed, he said, ‘If this is the honeymoon suite, I reckon any newlyweds who wanted to consummate their marriage in this room would need to be mountain-climbers.’

Cleo, smiling, looked at him. ‘I just can’t believe this place. It is so not what I was expecting. I’m sorry, I’ve really screwed up.’

‘Maybe it will all look different tomorrow, in sunshine, my darling.’ He jumped down and went over to one of the windows.

‘Yes, my love. In our rear-view mirror. We are so not staying – this whole place is giving me the creeps.’

‘Let’s at least give it a chance,’ he said.

‘Really? Why?’

‘Apart from anything else, because we’ve paid – and I doubt Madame Charming is going to give us our money back.’ He smiled. ‘Hey, come and have a look out here!’

She joined him at the narrow window. They stared down at acres of lawn, with forest at the edge. ‘Quite a view, isn’t it!’ he said, trying to get her to perk up.

‘The view’s fine,’ she said. ‘It’s all the rest of it that’s a bit shit.’

‘Darling, come on. The reviews on the internet were good – four-star average – and loads of them. Let’s see how it looks tomorrow when the sun’s out?’

‘Hmmmn.’

‘Let’s unpack later – our lovely Madame said she was sorting out something to eat.’

‘You go ahead, darling. I’ve got to freshen up – and check on Bruno and Kaitlynn and Noah. Make sure there’s something for Jack, too; he must be here soon.’

Roy glanced at his watch. ‘This is not like Jack – I hope to hell nothing’s happened to him. I’ve tried sending him another text, but it won’t go.’ Then, mimicking Madame’s accent, he said, ‘The Wi-Fi is not working. Why you need Wi-Fi, you are on holiday?’

Cleo shrugged. ‘She has a point.’

‘She does, gorgeous.’ Roy grinned, wickedly. ‘Her nose – it’s very pointed!’ He pinched the end of his own nose and stretched it. Imitating the woman’s accent again, he said, ‘I am ze wicked witch of zis house!’

As Cleo laughed, Roy left the room and hurried downstairs. Choral music, playing at an almost deafening volume, greeted him as he reached the hall. It seemed to be pounding at him from the ceiling and the walls, making him feel as if he was in a cathedral.

Through a doorway he could see Madame, oddly changed into a waitress’s black-and-white tunic. She was holding a tray on which sat two slim glasses filled to the brim with champagne. He went through. Behind her was a spread of cheeses, cold meats and fruit, laid out on vast silver trays on a grand dining table.