We sit this way, wiping away tears, giggling the last of our pent-up laughter. And when silence finally sinks over us, the house feels too quiet. The air too still. I realize how absurd it is to be laughing, to find anything funny when we’re snowed in and trapped and Oliver is missing and a boy is dead. I feel embarrassed and stand up from the couch, rubbing my hands down my pant legs.

We forgot where we were, we forgot there are still things to fear.

The pot of water on the stove begins to boil, and I carry it into the kitchen to make us oatmeal and a cup of tea. Suzy lowers her chin on her knees, and I see that her smile is gone—her thoughts have strayed back to this room, this house in the woods, the cold always looking for a way in. This place where a boy has died. It all floods back through her, and I think I see the fear that blinks out at me behind her fawn-colored eyes, Paris now impossibly far away.

We are quiet the rest of the day. Afraid to speak—afraid we’ll lose ourselves to foolish, imaginary daydreams. Instead, I sit beside the front window and watch for a figure moving through the trees outside, for any sign of Oliver. But he never appears. Only a deer that picks its way through the snow just as evening sets over the forest. It walks down to the shore and paws at the surface of the frozen lake, trying to break through the ice, but something startles it—a bird maybe—and it darts back into the forest.

I look to Suzy, curled up beside the fire like a child’s doll, carefully placed with her hands in her lap, and for a moment I can’t be sure how much time has passed, how many hours—how many days and months—since she first came to stay with me. Since the storm hit and the road became blocked. I feel like I’m losing track of the minutes. Time playing tricks on me ever since I found Oliver in the woods, ever since my eyes met his.

Tick, tick, thud.

I stand up from the chair to shake away the feeling, to root my feet against the floor. The clock above the kitchen sink ticks, ticks, weaving itself along the fibers of my mind, pushing the seconds forward, too fast.

Tick, tick, thud.

I squeeze my eyes closed and hear the clock waver, like time is stuck between seconds. A trembling sound leaves my lips. A wheezing gasp of air.

“You okay?” Suzy asks.

My eyelids peel open and I nod. “Fine,” I breathe.

“You were shaking.”

I clench my hands together so she won’t see, and I pull them into my sleeves. “I’m just cold,” I lie.