“No, you don’t,” Jainan said, and her image flickered and disappeared.

Hold on to yourself, Jainan thought helplessly as another set of lights and emotion rose up around him. It swallowed his conscious thoughts like the sea.

“Well? What did she say?” Taam demanded.

They were in their rooms. The sky outside the windows was dark. Jainan blinked and remembered what was going on: they had just come back from a commemorative dinner to mark an Iskat anniversary of some victory or other.

Jainan had been seated next to High Duke Tallie, who chaired the Advisory Council—a dull name for a group with enormous power over how the Empire was run.

As the conversation came back to Jainan, the muscles in his back coiled up in embarrassment. “I mentioned it.”

“Subtly?” Taam said.

“Yes.”

“You’re no bloody good at subtle,” Taam said. “What did she say?”

Taam wanted a committee seat. Jainan had at first had no idea why he wanted Jainan to make the request for him, but he’d found out soon enough: Duke Tallie was a woman of ironclad opinions, and the ones she held about Taam were scathing. Jainan hated asking favors at the best of times. He could still feel the humiliation of it pricking at his cheekbones. She hadn’t even been scathing about Jainan himself, just given him a look as if she couldn’t believe he’d had the audacity to make the request. “I don’t think she liked the idea.”

“Of course she won’t like the idea!” Taam said. He threw off his jacket.

“Stupid cow can’t see past the last time we argued—you were supposed to talk her around!”

Jainan had put a stop to most of his self-destructive behaviors, but not all, and now he felt one of them rising from somewhere deep in him. “How do you expect me to do that?” he asked softly. “It’s you she doesn’t like, Taam.”

There was a moment of silence, as if neither of them could believe he’d said that. Then Taam moved. He grabbed Jainan by the front of his jacket, and Jainan had to fight for balance as the high collar tightened around his neck. “You’re a damned liar!”

“I tried,” Jainan said, though any apology would be too late now. He had to take breaths carefully, around the grip on his throat. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t—I’m not subtle. I’m not good at this.”

“That’s bloody obvious!” Taam said. He bore forward until Jainan felt the back of his legs hit the desk, only just keeping his balance. “What use are you? If you can’t even talk around one old woman, what fucking use are you?” Taam

tightened his grip.

Jainan’s jacket collar was suddenly his enemy, cutting off his air. “I—” he said, struggling for coherence. “I—I—I’ll speak to her next time—”