The morning after their arrival, she sat by the fireplace watching Nev, who was talking with her grandfather. They were having the most extraordinary conversation, in the presence of everyone, for Nev had told her grandfather about Nori Orfa, then asked him if he’d ever felt sexual jealousy. Her grandfather! She’d asked him that! Lovisa had whipped her head up at the question, unable to pretend she wasn’t startled.

“Of course I have,” he said.

“You have?” said Nev. “Why?”

“Your grandmother had many lovers before me,” Saiet said, at which point, Lovisa had to get up and go to her bedroom in the barn, because she didn’t want to hear another word. The barn was a huge, empty space, cold, full of creepy shadows and noises at night, like the attic at home. When she entered, the cow looked up from her pen, staring at Lovisa with big brown eyes, chewing. Beyond the cow, the chickens’ throaty noises were actually almost soothing.

This is how things have devolved, Lovisa thought, going to sit on some hay near the animals. I socialize with cows and chickens. Light caught floating motes of dust in the air. She sat and wrapped her arms around herself, shaking. Nev’s life was small. Wasn’t it? It was animals and dark, tiny houses; it was no one ever knowing her name. Why did the look on Nev’s face while she was talking with her grandfather make Lovisa feel like Nev’s life contained everything, everything?

—

Later, back in the house, Lovisa watched Giddon and Bitterblue working on the plan at the table. Everyone was obsessed with the plan.

Suddenly Giddon caught up Bitterblue’s hands and examined her rings. “Bitterblue,” he said in a voice of dismay. “Where’s your mother’s ring?”

The queen told Giddon about the ring falling into the sea. But first, she let him touch her hands with his own big, gentle, white hands, an expression on her face that instantly informed Lovisa that Giddon and the queen were sleeping together.

Two more normal people having sex for normal reasons. She hated them.

“Lovisa?” Bitterblue said then. “Will you help us?”

“With what?” she snapped.

“Well, with our plan,” said Bitterblue. “You know the plan?”

Yes, Lovisa knew that everyone was planning to invade the house, her house, to find the answer to why her parents had drowned the Monsean envoy and a royal adviser. Because yes, apparently, on top of everything else they’d done, her parents—her father—had done that too.

This is why I’m so numb and stupid, Lovisa thought, struck through with an aching beam of clarity. Because the only route to a place of intelligence passes through the land where I have to believe such things of my father.