I pushed my hands up my blue embroidered sleeves, and tried to find my lord. He was talking to the owner of this house, and they were laughing together, the owner pleased and beaming, my lord amused and quiet. Young women went up to him with wine jars and offered to refill his silver cup, but he refused, smiling. I saw their faces blush as he talked to them, and saw them whispering together afterwards, ecstatic, overwhelmed.

Even the men wore that look, when he talked to them. They counted even a word or a glance from him a highest honour, a joy. Never had I seen a soul so utterly adored. I think it was not just his divining power they loved, it was his magnetism, his charisma. Even in a crowded feasting hall, he had that energy, that influence that was like a light on him, and set him apart. He did not even have to speak, and people were drawn to him, impressed and inspired.

But when he did speak, when he spoke as judge and law-giver, then his word was absolute. I have seen him sit in judgement in the towns we visited, and witnessed the power of his word. Even murderers, whom he condemned to death, bowed without protest to his authority. In all matters of law and judgement, his word was the last, and people gave him unquestioning obedience.

I was constantly amazed that I could say to him things that others would not even dare to think – and he never chastised me. I said to him once, “Lord, if your word is allpowerful, why do you not ease the lives of the Quelled now, and in one hour change all the laws?”

He gave me a slow, wondering smile, one black eyebrow raised. “Ah – I see a revolutionary,” he said.

“It seems a waste, lord, to have that power and not use it.”

His face became grave then, and he sighed. “I hear what you say, Elsha. But the Chosen have spent generations and centuries establishing their order. To break their creed, to alter overnight their beliefs and power, would create chaos. Changes can be made, but they must be made with wisdom, with sensitivity and discretion.”

“Sensitivity, or timidity?” I said, and immediately wished I hadn’t.

“By God, you push me far,” he muttered, and I saw that he was very angry. “Handmaid, by simply having a harsha at my side, I undo a hundred of their laws. You do not appreciate what has already been achieved. You are impatient, impetuous. There are virtues you could learn, Elsha. Patience, long-suffering, humility. Practise them.”

I did, for an hour or two. I remembered my dream and my vow to God, and kept my peace. And I saw that the Firelord was not timid, but that he was old and very tired, and the people disillusioned him. I saw that he needed me for a friend, not to be a thorn in his side.