I was putting on my nightshirt when Jun-oh messaged me. He was really sorry, he wouldn’t be coming back for Seollal, model school was intense but exciting. He missed me, he wanted to lick me all over, suck on my breasts, he’d call me.

I heard Kerrand come in, take off his coat, go into the bathroom. He went into his room, leaving his door ajar, and sat down at his desk. I walked over and stood by the door to watch him.

His fingers skimmed tentatively across the page. The brush stuttered, unsure of the figure’s proportions. The face, especially. A woman, she didn’t look Western. He probably wasn’t used to drawing women, I hadn’t seen many among his characters. She started to spin, her dress swinging. Skinny one moment, curvaceous the next, arms reaching out, pulling back, the twisting form taking shape beneath his brush. Every so often, Kerrand tore off a scrap of paper and chewed on it.

I lay down in bed and thought about what Jun-oh had said in his message. It had been a long time since I’d wanted to be with a man. I slid my hand between my legs, pressed gently then stopped, remembering that Kerrand was just on the other side of the wall. I moved my hand back. I was already wet. With my other hand, I grasped the back of my neck, my breasts, imagining a man kneading my flesh, filling the spaces in my body. I pressed harder, faster, until my thighs began to tremble and a groan escaped my lips as I came.

Shaking, I caught my breath, my hand still resting between my thighs. I drew it away sharply as if pulling a dressing from an open sore. Had Kerrand heard me? He must have done.

I suddenly remembered I’d forgotten to put the leftovers from dinner in the fridge. I couldn’t leave them out overnight. I put my clothes on, hoping I wouldn’t run into Kerrand in the hall.

All was quiet outside. The neon light over Mother Kim’s stall flickered. I jumped. A bat stirred the air.

The clock in the lounge showed almost one in the morning. The girl was sitting in front of the television, pecking at the gooey part of a Choco Pie, holding it with both hands like a hamster, touching her tongue to it lightly. She looked unnaturally stiff, her gaze directed not at the screen but a little above it. She’d muted the sound.

“Everything okay?”

She signaled yes, a faint movement of the face, eyes staring into space. The string of lights in the room made her bandages glow, throwing the scars into relief. Eyelids, nose, chin. She’d really had herself carved up. I’d probably disturbed her. She left the room. The boy would be back with her for Seollal, he’d made the reservation that afternoon.

I went back to the other building, Kerrand’s room was in darkness.