He woke with a jolt, grasped her wrists, and blinked at her with wide, wild eyes. His chest heaved and his muscles twitched involuntarily.

“You’re all right,” she said, smoothing the pads of her thumbs over his cheekbones. “You were having a nightmare.”

He seemed to be frozen, stuck somewhere between the horror in his head and the hope in his heart. His eyes flicked to his fingers encircling her wrists like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“What are you doing?” he asked, panting.

She swallowed and let her palms drift slowly across the rough stubble on his jaw. “Touching you.”

He released her wrists and closed his eyes. “Sophie,” he said, half warning, half begging.

“You were hurting,” she said. “I had to do something, anything, to stop the pain.”

“Even break your own rule?” he said with a weary smile.

“Even that.” She slid her fingertips into his hair and let the soft, thick strands tickle her palms. Her whole body tingled with a strange, magnetic pulsing, and she wondered if he felt it too. “I was worried about you. Would you like me to fetch you some water? Or a cool cloth for your head?”

“No,” he said quickly. As though he didn’t dare risk breaking the spell. “I just want you to stay with me. Like this.”

“If I must,” she teased, tracing the shells of his ears with her fingertips.

A cloud passed over his face, and he looked away.

She went still. “What is it?”

“I’ve dreamed of this,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “You touching me. I wanted it more than anything.”

She tilted her head, puzzled. “Then what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want you to pity me. I mean, I know that I’m damaged. Beyond redemption. But I never wanted you to see me that way.”

Her eyes burned as slowly, deliberately, she stretched out next to him and rested her cheek on his bare, hard chest. She placed her hand over his heart and said, “When I look at you, I see someone who’s brave and loyal and caring. You’re still grieving for the brother and friends you lost, but you’re not broken. This darkness and despair you’re feeling … it’s not forever.”

“How do you know?” he asked, as though her answer mattered very much.

She lifted her head and looked deep into his eyes. “I know because Edmund and your men would have wanted you to live your life without taking a single day for granted. And deep inside, I think you know that living a full, meaningful life is the best way to honor their memories.”

For a few seconds, he said nothing. “Sometimes you can know something with your head, but it takes your heart a while to catch up.”