“For, well, dismissing you like that, last night. I just, I didn’t know what to do?” Hannah’s cheeks color in an unfairly – really, really unfairly – appealing blush as she looks down at the cupcakes. She takes in a deep breath before looking back up, gray eyes solid as stone and her voice just as steady as she says, “I don’t want to risk your friendship and I didn’t mean to send you the wrong signal.”

And there it is. That tiny, tiny seed of hope flickered out. It’s nothing she didn’t know, but her heart aches with the words just the same. It has no right to hurt and she knows that, but it still does.

“You – you didn’t. Risk my friendship, that is.” The words slip out and she thinks about the thousand explanations and apologies that she’d thought of last night. “What happened last night was clearly a mistake. And I…”

Her throat runs dry as she tries to decide what to say – I never really thought you’d fallen for me the way I’ve fallen for you?

It doesn’t matter, because Hannah shakes her head and says, “I’m so glad you feel the same way.” Her voice sounds just a little off, but Caroline can fully admit that on a night of no sleep, she could be imagining things. Hannah blows out a deep breath, her shoulders slumping with what she can only assume is relief. “And things can just be… normal.”

“Normal.” She echoes, the word feeling decidedly not normal on her lips.

Normal. She can do normal.

Even if it hurts a bit.

***

In the next few weeks, things do go back to normal. Mostly.

Does she think about that moment way more than she should? Possibly. Probably.

The only thing that isn’t normal is that she starts to employ her own subtle steps to recover and move on from these feelings so that their friendship can be just that – a friendship.

She starts making small changes, unnoticeable to Hannah and Abbie. Spending a little less free time with them on her days off, putting just a few inches between herself and Hannah when they do hang out.

She accepts the invitation to go out with a woman who works in the accounting firm on the fifth floor of her office building, Nicola, who has asked her out a few times, just to get herself “out there” in Kris’s encouraging words. It makes her want to roll her eyes, but her friend is right – she has to move on from Hannah if she wants this to be a healthy and lasting friendship for everyone involved.

So, Caroline tries.

***

The Saturday of Labor Day weekend, she takes Abbie out to go back to school shopping and they’re both laden down with bags as they make their way up to Hannah and Abbie’s apartment.