Caroline does. She can’t help it. She tells her about her birthday and the kisses and Thanksgiving and there’s a smile on her face that’s so wide, it might break open. She thinks telling Kris is fine, because who is it going to get around to? Kris and Hannah’s only commonality is her.

And she has to tell someone, she realizes after she stops speaking. She’s had to revel in the news with someone else, now that she’s been sitting on it for over a month.

Someone other than Hannah; someone who knows at least some of the absolute wanting and pining for months.

“I can’t believe you’re in a relationship with Hannah.” Kris looks at her, dumbfounded. “I really thought… wow. And last Christmas, I told you not to call her.”

Caroline frowns. “I don’t know if we’re in a relationship, exactly.”

They haven’t exactly spoken about what they are.

What they are is short, heated moments wherever they can grab them.

What they are is late night phone calls where they do anything from watch The X Files to talk about nonsensical things like latte foam art to serious things like Hannah’s feelings about her mom’s watch that had broken last year and how she still keeps it in her jewelry box.

What they are is dinners and movie nights with Abbie while Caroline will slide her hand over and hold Hannah’s under a blanket.

What they also are is Hannah pulling her hand away in a split-second, as if she has some sort of sixth-mother-sense for when Abbie is about to turn and look at them. What they also are is Hannah ending their phone calls when the hour ticks slightly too late, where admissions very much want to roll out of Caroline’s mouth.

What they are is Caroline very much feeling ready to say “I love you” and meaning it more than she ever has, but holding it back whenever the words want to escape. Because she knows they will make Hannah run.

Kris gives her a long-suffering eyeroll. “Okay, right. Not a relationship. Sure.” She sags back against the couch, a laugh bubbling up in her throat. “You enjoying the holidays. Never thought I’d see the day.”

***

The thing is, Caroline isn’t necessarily enjoying the holidays, so much as… it’s extremely difficult to feel her particular brand of Scrooge when she spends just about every other day – if not more – with her two favorite people, who happen to love Christmas.

Usually, she does all of her holiday shopping online because the last place she wants to be is in the overcrowded stores, forced to listen to the same holiday songs over and over again.