The biggest change, really, comes in the form of their nightly phone calls.

First, because now Caroline never misses one. There’s no reason to try to hold herself back from them or force herself to not look forward to them, and it feels so incredibly good. They also last a lot longer than they did before, the fifteen or twenty minutes before bed becoming an hour, sometimes two.

Hannah seems to have an easier time talking on the phone, too. Maybe it’s something about not being able to see Caroline that makes opening up about things easier for her. She doesn’t really know, but she also doesn’t really care. As long as it’s happening.

Their conversations range from silly to serious, and she eats up every little bit of information she gets about Hannah and relishes in the freedom she has in being able to speak more freely.

The first night they talk –

“I’m not ready for people to know about… this.” Hannah says as soon as Caroline picks up the phone, her voice quiet but firm. Serious.

It gives Caroline pause. “This?”

“This – whatever we’re doing.” The nervous energy in Hannah comes through the phone. “Abbie, especially. Your family,” she adds on, before she groans, softly. “God, sometimes I wish you could be anyone else.”

Well that – stings. Honestly, it really hurts and Caroline flinches at the words, sitting on the edge of her bed. She doesn’t even really know what to say to that at all.

In her silence, Hannah seems to realize exactly what she says, because she gasps. “No, god, I didn’t mean for that to – I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

“How did you mean it?” How hurt she is, is evident in her voice.

“I mean… you are such a big part of our lives. Abbie loves you.” Hannah stresses.

“And I love her.” Honestly, Caroline sees it as a good thing. She just can’t wrap her mind around why it would be a negative.

“I know you do. I know you wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt her, on purpose. But what makes this so terrifying is how easy it could be for something to go wrong. And then where will we be?” The stress in her voice is palpable. “Abbie adores you. She loves your family; she hasn’t stopped talking about how excited she is to spend Thanksgiving with them and about how fun it is to have cousins.”

Caroline wants to tell her that nothing will go wrong, because if it does, she doesn’t know what she’ll do. Bouncing back from failed relationships is sort of her thing, at this point, but it wouldn’t be like that with Hannah. It would be impossible for her to just bounce back.