Because for once, she doesn’t stop speaking when she’s clearly overwhelmed. Maybe she can’t, because the words spill out of her.

“I want everything to be normal. I need it!” Hannah’s voice, usually so soft-spoken and measured sounds more out of sorts than Caroline has ever imagined it, especially as she lets out a deep breath, her hands gesturing wildly. “I need this normal that I’ve managed to assemble after my life was a total mess.

“I was stuck in my marriage to Michael and in the year after my mom died, I felt like I had nothing. Abbie was all that kept me going. And when his affair with Mindy was thrown in my face at that Christmas party, in front of all of those people, something just snapped. And I knew I had to get out or I was going to fade away entirely. And the first year after I left him, I had to claw at every bit of strength I had. To pay our bills, to get up and go to work, to try to keep it all together for Abbie, and slowly, things started coming together. Eventually, I woke up, and every single day didn’t feel like a struggle.”

To hear Hannah speak like this, so raw and open and not tongue-tied is something Caroline isn’t used to. And god, she admires this woman so much. She wants to tell her so, but Hannah doesn’t even pause as she paces around the room, her long legs making the child-size desks look that much smaller in comparison.

“I can’t handle this changing things because my life is finally something good. I have stability and I’m so close to getting my degree and I feel –” A smile flashes over her face and the sheer freedom in it – something she couldn’t have imagined seeing on Hannah’s face when Hannah had contacted her all those months ago – steals her breath. “I feel actually in control, for the first time in maybe ever.

“My daughter is happy and I’m happy and my divorce is final and everything is good, just the way it is. This is just what I’d always thought of, the years I spent thinking about leaving Michael.” She turns, her pacing ceasing as she spins to look at Caroline, nailing her to the spot. “And the last thing I expected was to start thinking about you. Kissing you and touching you…”

Caroline’s chest feels so full and heavy, from both the pure emotion on Hannah’s face and those words are like a double-hit. She has to lean on one of the desks for balance.

“And it’s the last thing I want.”

Ouch. She feels it like a direct hit to the heart.