“That I’m tired and that I work to live.” My hands left his chest to grip the blanket, squeezing it into my palm. “And that it’s getting harder every day to bring myself there and endure these emotionally draining hours, knowing I’m going to be half-dead when I leave.” I thought of everything I’d given up for my job—the nights out with Emily, the weeklong trips she had wanted to take but I was unable to because I couldn’t manipulate my schedule. “I’ve missed so much.”

“What you do is honorable, but you need to put yourself first. I don’t know if you’ve ever done that.” He traced underneath my eyes, each swish crossing the dark bags that hung there from never getting enough sleep. “Baby, you’ve got to start living.” He loosened my fingers from the blanket and brought them up to his mouth. “Ultimately, you’re the one who has to make the change; no one can do it for you.”

I was sure my best friend would agree with him. My job was a topic we now discussed almost weekly, especially during the moments I was even too tired to eat. She had brought that up when she came over to Caleb’s to cook us dinner a few days ago, which was almost two months after our burger meal because I hadn’t been able to coordinate our schedules with all the overtime I’d taken on.

Since David’s death, change terrified me more than anything, and leaving my job was like jumping straight into the change pool.

I just didn’t know if I could handle that yet.

“Let me think about it,” I replied.

“I would be more than happy to help you get your finances sorted, at least giving you the freedom to work a little less during the interim.”

What Caleb was extremely successful at had never been one of my strengths. Between my student loans and rent along with the overall cost of living in such an expensive city, I was barely getting by. Without my extra hours every week, I wasn’t certain if I’d be able to cover all my bills. I was sure there was something he could do to help fix that even if it meant consolidating my debt.

I knew he wasn’t trying to change me. He was trying to make me a better version of myself.

“When we get back from our trip, that would be really wonderful.”

“I take it that means you’ll be flying out tomorrow and missing a day of work at the end?”

I nodded and grinned.

“Good answer.” He kissed my cheek. “Now, go get the shower warm. I’ll be there in a minute with coffee.”