“I should be pissed at you,” he continued, “but more than anything, I didn’t want to be the one who lost you. And my damn letter. Turns out I didn’t really lose either one, but I wasn’t the one to find them either.”

I wanted so much to sit and cry with him. To thank him for his honesty. To live in this world where sight didn’t matter and secrets were commonplace.

“Listen, everyone’s aboveground waiting for you, so let’s get going. We’re doing this thing,” I said, stifling myself, trying not to lose the bigger picture.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

I started pulling on what felt like his collar. As hard as I tugged, I couldn’t get him to move.

“Ruby tried this too. I sent her away.”

“I’m more stubborn.”

“I know.” He sighed as I continued tugging anyway. “I don’t think you understand how embarrassing this is. I told everyone to go into these tunnels, and it turned into a huge mess. I’m not going up there and seeing all of them.”

“Harrison, you have no idea how much I get it. I’m the one who started this all, and look at me, I’m still going.” I lowered myself down in front of the black mass that I’d come to understand was his body and probed around for his armpits.

“What in the hell?”

The darkness amplified all sounds. Two wet pops of air released out of the corners of his mouth. I could hear him smiling. It was a reluctant smile, but a smile nonetheless. He didn’t seem to be ticklish, or I was doing a terrible job at trying, but the motion had the appropriate effect either way. He started jerking left to right until he shot upward. “Fine! Fine! Enough of that! Let’s go!” he said, faint amusement in his words.

He placed a hand on my shoulder, letting me lead him out. As I began my climb up the ladder, Aidy and Bigs and Teeny and Nick nearly blocked out the light with their heads staring down at me.

No. There was one more person.

“You’re back,” I said to Ruby as she offered a hand to pull me out. The sight of her was such a relief that I couldn’t hold on to my earlier frustration. I understood exactly how Harrison felt. I didn’t want to be the one who lost her, but it hurt not to be the one who found her.

“Harrison kicked me out of there a while ago, so I was out in the desert, digging around to find more stuff for you,” she told me. “You know, just trying to know all the secrets I’m supposed to know.”

The tears I had suppressed earlier sprang up to my eyes.