He walked ahead. I ran around him. I went into the tunnel first. He pressed his hand into my back. Every move was attack or counter. Our battle was constant. I fought without thinking. Without hearing the guides I’d used to keep my life in check.

I made sure not to fall off the tunnel ledge again. Before Nick could even spot the drop-off, my legs stretched out and caught the ground. I hoped my grace did not go unnoticed. And wished for a memory that would never exist. “Remember that time Nick Cline fell?” I imagined asking Ruby. I’d have to use his full name because he’d be so far out of our lexicon that she’d need the reminder.

He didn’t fall, of course. He landed with the same lightness as me.

Similar, I told myself. We are not the same. He might’ve known about Marley, but he didn’t carry her, I decided. He wasn’t strong enough.

Daylight helped make the first part of the tunnels less ominous. It was still too dim to be comfortable, but not as unsettling as our last visit. “So, you found the letters and stuff in the sewer?” Harrison asked once we returned to the scene of the spray-painted message.

If only he noticed how little muscle contractions in my stomach betrayed me. It was hard to catch me in my own untruths. I was usually my only alibi. But of course Nick knew, because he seemed to exist solely to disrupt my entire self-image. So, to Harrison, I said, “Yep,” as a throwaway word, using it as a test for Nick. Agree with me and I’ll speak to you again. Give me back my power.

“All right here, all this time,” Nick told everyone. He sounded so wrapped up in the memory that even I believed him.

I had to continue the lie, to prove I was better at it. “Kind of incredible no one touched it.”

“Yeah, really. How was it not rained out?” Harrison asked, still oblivious. “We hardly ever get rain, but still. Five years is a long time.”

Lies worked best when hazy. Undetailed. I’d call inconsistencies to the forefront, all because of Nick. He started to speak, prepared to cover for me, but I barreled over him with my liveliest, surest tone. “It was tucked into a dry little corner right before the drop-off. There’s this crevice you can’t really see. I was crawling in here for old times’ sake, I guess, and I touched it by accident. Not sure why I even thought to look further. Guess I had Marley on the mind because of the memorial, and I thought what would she do?”

Nick did not get to rescue me. He did not get a debt in his favor.