BooksBarbecue
Back When the Light Went Out
Chapters (46)
  1. Front Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Contents
  5. Part One
  6. 1
  7. July 11
  8. 2
  9. July 11
  10. 3
  11. July 11
  12. 4
  13. July 11
  14. 5
  15. July 11
  16. 6
  17. July 11
  18. 7
  19. Part Two
  20. 8
  21. July 11
  22. 9
  23. July 11
  24. 10
  25. July 11
  26. 11
  27. July 11
  28. 12
  29. July 11
  30. 13
  31. July 11
  32. 14
  33. July 11
  34. 15
  35. Part Three
  36. 16
  37. 17
  38. 18
  39. 19
  40. 20
  41. 21
  42. Acknowledgments
  43. Excerpt from What You Left Me
  44. About the Author
  46. Back Cover

Our walk to the park had been the cautious uphill climb of a roller coaster. Now we were flying down, breathless and unsettled.

“It’s not good for you to be around him.”

“How could you possibly know that? I don’t even know that. I haven’t been around him in years.”

Aidy buried her hands in her hair. “We’re running in circles with this. Go ahead and remind me why you haven’t seen him. What was it again?” She went right where I knew she’d go with it. As if she didn’t drive the point home hard enough the night before. “Oh yeah, that’s right. He shot Marley then ran away. You were never the same after that.” She stopped. Restarted. “You’re not the same.”

“Of course, I’m not the same!” I shouted. “Are any of us?”

“I’m tired of this! I don’t know how to talk to you without making you mad!”

“I’m not mad! I’m defending myself!”

“That’s what you always say,” she informed me.

“I didn’t realize you were the expert on all things to do with my life. You know, I like my therapist, but it sounds like you’ve got me all figured out. Maybe I should start going to you instead. Save Mom and Dad a few bucks. Maybe you can be my camp counselor too. Something tells me you’d love that.”

“Olivia, I’m just being your big sister. Will you ever let me be that?”

I was a lion, I reminded myself. I had a mane, hidden away. I had razor-sharp teeth that could clamp down on Aidy’s flesh and leave a mark that would never fade away. I buried my nails into my palms, trying to latch onto a different kind of hurt. “You’re obviously an expert on relationships. Anyone with two eyes can see the love between you and Harrison,” I said. Despite my best efforts not to bite, I was weak. If I didn’t get a pass with Nick, she didn’t get one with Harrison.

Aidy whispered something indecipherable. From her face, I could see it was a concession.

I collapsed onto the grass in front of the tunnel, overwhelmed. It would always hit me all at once, and never when I expected. The world shrank until everything around me became small, and I remained the same size. I didn’t fit.