And he is right. I lost Lily, and she suffered, again and again. Lily is dead in a way that means she is never, ever coming back—not through reincarnation even. It feels like someone’s smashing my chest with a sledgehammer. Shame and embarrassment are there too, undercurrents heating my skin.

“Think for a moment what we could have helped prevent if only you’d have told us about Anora.”

Nothing! I want to scream at him. You could have prevented nothing because Anora’s not the one who killed Lily, and she’s not the one who resurrected her. But I don’t want to get into that with him. Not with Roth having his own agenda. If he can’t control Anora, he may try to find someone else to bring back the dead.

“What could you have prevented?” I ask bitterly, pushing myself off the gurney. “What could you have done better?”

For a moment, I hate him, and I want to make him feel it.

“I’m never good enough for you. I’m not good enough for anyone. The only reason Roth chose to promote me to tracker is because of Anora. I know you didn’t think I was ready. Well, guess what, you were right. I screwed up.”

“You’re wrong,” my dad says. His voice settles on me like snow, making me shiver.

“Who are you to tell me I’m wrong? What have you done to prove me otherwise? Have you been home the last two months? When was the last time you sat down to dinner with me and Mom? You don’t know? I do—it was August!”

“I don’t know where all this sudden defiance is coming from. There are things I have to do here, Shy. Things you don’t understand right now—”

“Try me, Dad!” I yell and then beg, “Trust me.”

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t say a word. Just looks at me with those eyes—my eyes. I hate it.

“Forget this.”

As I go to leave, he says, “I do trust you, and I believed you were ready long before you were promoted, but don’t think for a second I didn’t know what Roth was doing when he chose you to track the Eurydice.”

I stop and face him.

“What are you saying?”

Dad stares for a moment, as if trying to communicate wordlessly. Funny, I know what he’s saying: You know exactly what I’m talking about. “We know Jacobi hacks the archive, Shy. We know he entered the records. I’m assuming he told you what he found.”

He’s talking about my and Anora’s past lives.

“You knew and you didn’t tell me?”