She’s silent after that and inhales. I decide it’s time to make my entrance. Normally I’d call out to her at the doorway, to let her know I’m home, but I don’t feel like speaking or even attempting to make my mouth work. If I do, I’ll probably become a puddle of mush, and I can’t afford that right now, because as much as I’d like to tell my father off, I want to go to the Compound because I need to know what they think happened to Lily.

Mom meets me halfway and hugs me tight. I take a deep, quavering breath. She smells like lavender and wildflowers. It’s uniquely Mom. Something I can count on for comfort.

I pull away when I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep the burn in my eyes from producing real tears.

I clear my throat. “I gotta go to the Compound.”

She nods, and I know she’s holding back. She doesn’t know I overheard the way she spoke to Dad. Now I wonder if this is what’s been going on behind my back—if she’s been as vocal about his absence as I’ve become, if she thinks she’s just protecting me by pretending it isn’t happening.

I used to think nothing was above the Order, but if it came down to them or my mom, I’d choose her, over and over again, even if it means death.

I press a kiss to her cheek, reassurance that I’ll be okay, and leave. I transition to my raven form and fly as quickly as I can to the Compound, so no one remarks on my delay. On the way, I think about Lily’s body hanging outside exactly as Vera’s used to and the implication of that.

When I arrive, I’m directed to the Council chamber. This isn’t normally where I would meet Cain or my father, and when I enter, I understand why they’re here. There are several holograms crowding the table, members of the Order who couldn’t get to Rayon in the few hours after Lily’s death. Mixed with these ghostly images are flesh-and-blood Valryn: Elite Val, Elite Abrams, Elite Ezekiel, and Elite Cain.

My father looms behind Cain, eyes ice-blue, cold and critical. I’ll credit the added severity of his gaze to the conversation he had with Mom before I left.

“Shadow Knight Savior,” Elite Cain says. “It is good you decided to join us. We were just discussing the death of Knight-in-Training Lily Martin.”

My insides revolt immediately. I’m not ready for this, I realize. Swallowing the sour taste in my mouth, I manage, “How can I be of service?”