He nodded. Excitement surged through me.

“You’ve denounced the world, much like Jesus. In the same way, you’ve curbed your earthly appetites and desires. The only thing left is to denounce the devil by putting the self to death.” He gave me a second to gather my composure before ordering me to stand. I stood slowly.

“Take off your clothes,” he said.

My clothes were the same ones I’d been wearing the day I left my life. I’d lost so much weight that my jeans hung on me, the waistband rolled over to keep them up. I stepped out of them and tossed them to the side. I stood in my sports bra and underwear, since I hadn’t worn my T-shirt in a long time. I’d torn it into strips, one to hold my hair back and the others to use as cleaning rags. Cleaning my small space gave order to my days. Wiping my body down with the same rag day after day was pointless, but it made me feel like I was still a human being.

“All of it.” His voice filled with threat.

I knew what he was asking me to do, but I couldn’t get my arms to move. My body froze. I willed it to move, but it refused. The crack of his belt against my leg snapped me back into my body. I fumbled with my underwear, pulling it down to my knees. The mortification never got easier.

“Turn around.”

I turned away from him, facing the brick. Shame burned my cheeks. I understood why Jesus wept blood in the garden of Gethsemane.

“The Lord says we must put to death the evil deeds of the body.” His belt cracked against my bare skin, making me jump. “Let those who know the Lord renounce all wickedness.”

Another smack. And another. Each one harder than the last. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying out.

“Do you feel the sin leaving your body?”

I stumbled over my words, the pain making me stupid. The next hit almost knocked me to the ground. “I belong to the Lord so . . .”

It was gone. I couldn’t remember. Where did it go?

“What does the word say?”

He barely gave me a chance to respond before smacking me again. My stomach heaved into my throat. Suddenly I remembered. “I belong to the Lord so crucify me,” I blurted out.

He unleashed on me. I lost track of how many hits. Tears burned my eyes. My backside screamed in pain. I didn’t recognize the sound of my cries.

“Please, please,” I begged over and over. It was as if he couldn’t hear me, or if he did, my words meant nothing. My knees buckled, and I crumpled to the floor before everything went black.

SEVENTEEN

MEREDITH

NOW

“And how long were you in the cellar?” Brian asked after Kate had finished describing what happened to her on the day she left and in the following days. We’d called Dean last night after our conversation with Kate, and he’d made arrangements to have everyone on the team here at eight to hear her disclosure. Brian and Camille were the only ones in the living room with Kate. The rest of us were watching the interview on monitors Dean had set up in the dining room. Abbi had been sleeping when people started arriving, and I’d told Scott he should wake her for it, but he’d insisted we let her sleep, since she’d been up most of the night with Kate.