Our room quickly filled with people, and it wasn’t long before the seats were full. The disciples were dressed in their beige uniforms, making them stand out from the others. The women wore skirts down to their ankles, and the men wore khaki pants. They all had plain, matching T-shirts. Everyone else wore regular street clothes like me.

“Why the beige?” I’d emailed Ray. He was surprisingly responsive to email and almost always got back to me within twenty-four hours, even though he claimed they avoided technology unless absolutely necessary.

He’d explained one of their core beliefs was to eliminate all distractions and avoid any stimulus that might artificially create a spiritual experience where there was none. I had to admit, there was something inherently calming about it. Something about the nothingness quieted my mind.

I checked to make sure my phone was off for the third time. They had very strict phone rules. They weren’t allowed at any gatherings, and you were asked to leave if it went off in a meeting or session. I still wasn’t used to carrying the stupid thing. Who wanted people being able to get ahold of you all the time? Definitely not me, but Scott had insisted on it, and it wasn’t worth the argument.

The door shut, and all the voices quieted instantly. A man in the far end of the circle began speaking. “Welcome, everyone. My name is Sol, and I’m so glad to have you here tonight.” He had the glow of the newly converted, and there was no mistaking his zeal. “Before we get started, let’s all just take a moment to center ourselves by taking a big deep breath.” He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then dramatically let it all out before opening his eyes again. “There. Okay. Now let’s get started.” His eyes scanned the room. “Is this anyone’s first time here?”

A few nervous hands went up around the room. I was glad they hadn’t asked that at my first meeting, because the last thing I had wanted was to be singled out. My goal was to blend in.

“Whether this is your first meeting or your last, I hope that you will take something away from our time together that you can use to help you during your week. Remember, when you change yourself, you change the world around you.” Those who could finished his sentence along with him: “Change yourself, change the world.”

There was a group of people sitting on his right who weren’t in good shape. Two of them lay curled on their sides in their chairs, with their legs hugged against their chests. Sweat dripped down the blonde woman’s forehead. The man next to her shook and moaned every few seconds. I hadn’t realized the ones being detoxed were allowed to come to the meetings. I figured you had to get sober first, but there they were, sweating it out. Each of them had a bucket at their feet. They wouldn’t actually throw up in the meeting, would they?