But the stress that happened right before Gram collapsed was because of us singing in the Kooky Karaoke Contest. And that was my fault.

Right before we went onstage, Gram told me she wasn’t just nervous.

She told me she wasn’t feeling well.

She told me she didn’t want to sing.

But I made her do it anyway.

I literally pulled her out of the chair and dragged her up the stage steps.

When I told Mom all that through lots more tears, she told me something else Gram said to the doctor just after he scolded her for not taking her health more seriously.

And what Gram said might just be the most unbelievable thing I’ve written so far, which is saying a lot.

“Listen, Dr. Whoever You Are, I realize you’ve gone to medical school, so you’re a lot smarter than I am, but I’ve just had one of the best weeks of my life and gotten to do something I always dreamed of doing. And I couldn’t have done any of that if I’d spent the week searching for public restrooms every five minutes and worrying about all the other side effects that come with taking those darned pills.

“Did I put my health at risk? Maybe. But so be it. It was well beyond worth it, no matter what happens to me.”

And then Mom said something that made me feel better than I’ve felt in a really, long time. Maybe even better than I’ve ever felt.

“So, Sam, if you’re the one who pulled Gram up onstage, you should be proud.”

Love,

Me

P.S. So, even though I was feeling pretty awesome after hearing some of the things Mom told me, that awesome feeling had a tiny pinhole in it. And through that tiny pinhole, there was a slow leak causing some of that awesome feeling to deflate.

There’s still one thing that’s really nagging at my conscience.

I wish I knew for sure what my real reason for pulling Gram up onstage had been.

Was it for her dream?

Or for mine?

Did I do it so that I’d finally get to know what it felt like to have people clap for me?

I wish I knew the answer to that.

Dear Me,

It’s the middle of the night, and we’re back at the Borlandsville Fairground Hotel. The doctors released Gram after she promised to take her medication. No. Matter. What!

According to Mom, according to Gram, even according to the doctor in the emergency room, it wasn’t my responsibility to make sure Gram took her pills, but even so, until we get back to Sunny Sandy Shores, I plan to watch Gram put those two little pills on her tongue, drink a full glass of water, and swallow them.

Gram and Mimi are both asleep in bed. And of course, snoring away.