Fern has all her friends, and her sewing and knitting and cooking and cleaning, and all her healing and shopping and more healing, and what have I got. Damn! I don’t even have Fern. I don’t know how to take care of a wife, not a gifted wife like her. We’ve been married less than a year, and she’s brought in more food and more housewares than I have.

He sat on a bale of hay and looked at the snow melting off his boots. She’s a good woman, loving and kind and helpful. I know it ain’t no devil got a hold on her, it’s got to be the Lord’s work. How the hell do you make love to the Lord’s chosen one? Didn’t even give her a decent Christmas present.

He wandered around the barn, then grabbed a broom and started sweeping the already clean floor.

He was rearranging the gardening tools when he heard the barn door open.

“Harry?”

He turned. Her young face looked beautiful in the soft barn light. She was wrapped up warm in boots and a long wool skirt and coat she had made at Addie’s.

“Harry, it’s Christmas. And a beautiful day. Let’s go for a walk.”

He kept fiddling with the tools. He felt her touch, light on his arm.

“What’s the matter, Harry? Did I do something?”

“No.”

“Come on then.”

“You go.”

“I want to be with you.”

“You want to be with me, but you’re always with other people, healing and doing God knows what all.”

“It’s God’s work I’m doing, Harry. I didn’t ask for this. It’s a gift. And you can’t turn down a gift that God gives you.”

“I know. I just feel, like, I don’t know. I don’t feel like much of a man.”

She turned him toward her with a feather touch. “You’re my man, Harry, and I love you. Can’t you be pleased, excited, that we’re together in this?” Her eyes were moist, her face pleading. “Can’t you see the loveliness of this . . . this gift? This ability to help people and ease their suffering?”

“Of course I can, Fern. I just think nothing comes from nothing. Somewhere along the line we’re going to have to pay our dues. We’ve got it too easy here. I myself think I’d rather work hard—long and constant, and learn about life as it goes on. This seems too much like a free ride. Something bad’s going to happen and it’s going to hurt.”

She stepped toward him, putting her cheek against the sheepskin jacket. His arms automatically went around her, drew her in close. He kissed the top of her head.

“No, Harry. Life doesn’t have to hurt. Life is good.”