Amanda laughed instantly. “I am single but have been on a few dates.” Gretchen mimicked wearing a stethoscope and wiggled her eyebrows. “Your doctor cares about you, not me.”

“Jax…”

“Is a troublemaker and a gossip queen. Plus, we know she’s not my type because she’s a she.”

Gretchen wrote the word doctor and underlined it several times.

“I know, I know,” Amanda said.

Gretchen turned the notepad in her hands. Every time she thought of a question, another one would pop into her head. She had no idea how to organize the words that would help her understand her own life.

“How are you?” Amanda asked.

Gretchen pointed to her ribs and made a pained face.

“No, I’m not talking about physically.” Amanda didn’t need to be specific. Everything beyond physical feelings was the giant question mark.

Gretchen shook her head. She put the pen to paper but froze. She was feeling a million things. She jotted the one word to sum it all up—scared. She showed Amanda and started to cry.

“I know you’re scared.” Amanda rubbed soothing circles on Gretchen’s leg. “But we’ll work through this. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

“Oh, shit,” Jax said from the doorway. She started to turn away.

“Come in,” Amanda said to Jax. Gretchen wiped away her tears. “She’s been looking for you since I got here.” Amanda and Jax shared a look that made Gretchen uneasy.

Jax played with her car keys a moment. She pointed to the door and said, “I’m not staying long. I’m on my way to the office, and I just wanted to stop by to see if anyone needed anything. Has Dr. Melendez been in yet?”

Gretchen hated how Jax refused to look at her. She listened as Amanda filled Jax in on the very little that had happened. Gretchen wrote out a note and lifted it high enough so Jax couldn’t ignore it. We were just talking about you.

“You can write!” Jax’s surprised smile disappeared once she read Gretchen’s words. She turned to Amanda. “Why were you talking about me?”

Gretchen tapped the notepad. This conversation was between them, not between Jax and Amanda. She wrote a few more words. Doctor’s crush.

Jax squinted as she read. “Oh! Dr. Melendez definitely has a thing for your sister.”

Amanda rolled her eyes and stood. “I’m going to get coffee.” She left Gretchen alone with Jax.

She regarded Jax for a long while. Jax still had a hint of a smile on her lips. Her lavender hair was styled haphazardly, but it still looked nice. Gretchen didn’t want to lose the lightness of the moment, but she couldn’t stop conversing, otherwise they’d get nowhere. She wrote and kept the topic light. Nice hair.

“Thank you. I just got it dyed,” Jax said, running her fingers through her short hair. “No matter how many colors I try, I always come back to blond or purple.”

Gretchen motioned for Jax to sit with her, and when Jax did, she just wanted to keep crying. She wanted to touch the ring finger of Jax’s left hand, to trace the bare skin and ask a million times why. Or maybe she just wanted to know how. But Jax’s discomfort was palpable, and Gretchen needed to be able to really talk.