“Caleb,” Jax said sternly, “I need you to sit down and calm down.”

Caleb looked back at her and his lip started to quiver. “I’m sorry.”

“He’s probably tired of being cooped up in this room all the time.” Amanda opened her arms and waited for Caleb to come running to her. Jax frowned. “If it was nice out, we could play outside.”

“Well, it’s not nice out, and none of us are happy about being cooped up.” She shifted around in her chair. She was about twenty minutes away from asking a nurse to check her for bedsores. “I should just call Meredith to come get you.”

Amanda visibly stiffened at the name. “Where he should be is with his mothers.”

Jax pointed at herself and raised her eyebrows. “He’s going to drive this mother crazy.”

“I said sorry,” Caleb said, his voice high with the start of a wailing cry.

Amanda released Caleb and stood. “I’ll take him home with me.”

Jax felt terrible. “You don’t have to go. I’m sorry I’m in such a mood. Gretchen’s friends from work really pissed me off.”

“You barely know them—why let them bother you so much?”

She rolled the question around in her mind as Amanda pulled on her coat. “I don’t know,” she lied. She didn’t know what they had been told about their breakup, and she hated knowing those men and women heard only Gretchen’s side of the story. She couldn’t bear being a villain in strangers’ eyes—she wanted to be liked by everyone. Jax picked Caleb up and squeezed him. “I’m sorry for being so grumpy, Cricket. I love you.”

“I love you too, Bug.”

Jax buried her nose in Caleb’s black hair. She smiled and cherished the smell of baby shampoo. “Be good for your aunt.”

“He always is,” Amanda said.

“I always am!”

“I know you are.” Jax bundled Caleb up and kissed his forehead. “Say good-bye to Mama.” She picked him up to sit on the edge of Gretchen’s bed. The way he innocently looked at his broken mother made Jax’s heart ache.

“Good night, Mama. See you tomorrow.”

Jax fought back her tears and held him tightly as he reached to kiss Gretchen’s forehead exactly the way Jax kissed his.

“With kisses like those, she’ll get better in no time,” she said with more confidence than she felt, needing to be a beacon of hope for their son. She shared a look of understanding with Amanda.

She said good-bye and sat next to Gretchen’s bed. She had learned to tune out the chatter of people in the hallway and the sounds of machinery. The silence was overwhelming. “He really is a great kid, but damn, his energy wears me out.” She chuckled hollowly. “I can’t remember ever being that energetic.” Jax swore she heard Gretchen’s voice. “I know—that’s because I’m old. But if I’m old, you must be ancient.” She hadn’t referenced their one-month age difference in such a long time. “Maybe this year for your birthday I’ll get you a walker.” Jax smacked her forehead the moment the snarky comment left her mouth. “I’m obviously not very good at this. Maybe I should just stick to a script.”