That hope: it can wrap you up so tightly. You think it’s giving you a hug when really it’s strangling you.

Mom and Dad and I watched an old black-and-white movie on TV and went to bed. I hated trying to sleep when Jade wasn’t there, but she had just gotten her job at the movie theater and had to work more weekends than not.

I must have drifted off eventually, though, because the next thing I knew, Mom was shaking me.

“Abigail. Abigail! Wake up!”

“Geez, what?” I rubbed my eyes and glanced at my phone. It was 12:34. I still remember that.

“Blair’s been in an accident,” she said. I sat up quickly. I realized Mom had been crying. I’d never seen my mom cry in my entire life, not even at my grandma’s funeral in second grade. Mom didn’t cry. She was our moon, tugging us all into orbit when we spun out of control.

“What? What happened? Is she okay?”

“They think so. The doctor’s checking for a concussion. She’s at Memorial Hospital all the way in Cedar Valley. There was a car accident. Daddy and I are going and Jade slept over at Cassidee’s, so you’re by yourself, okay?”

“By myself?” I asked meekly. Sure, Mom and Dad let me stay home alone. I was twelve. But not in the middle of the night.

“Obi’s downstairs and wide awake. We’ll lock all the doors and be home in the morning. You’ll be fine. Okay? We need to go. Now.”

As if Obi was a guard dog. If a robber showed up, Obi would probably lick his feet and turn over for a belly rub. But I just nodded. Mom ran down the stairs and I heard the truck start up and take off.

Somehow, I managed to fall asleep, even though I was picturing Blair lying mangled in a hospital bed. A few hours later, I woke up to Jade coming in, shutting the door hard behind her. The sun was up.

“Hey. Mom just called. They’re on the way home.”

I sat up again, rubbing sleep out of my eyes. “What happened?”

Tough Jade, Can’t-Hurt-Me Jade, Don’t-Mess-With-Me Jade looked tiny. She sat on my bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. “Caleb was at the hospital, too. He got in a fight with Blair after a party or something, Mom said. Blair wanted to drive home to calm down. Caleb’s car is totally ruined . . . they hit a tree? Or a log? I don’t even know.”

“Was she drinking?” I mean, please. They teach you not to do that in kindergarten now.

“No. I think it was dark and she probably hadn’t eaten anything in four days and was an idiot and blacked out,” said Jade.

“God, Jade! Why do you have to be so mean? She’s in the hospital.”

“Why do you have to be so stupid? You’re twelve years old. Wake up,” snapped Jade.

I hated her then. I hated her with everything in me. I didn’t even know it was possible to feel that kind of hate.