“One boy was called Edmund. He would stick up for me sometimes, like Rufus does. Except since Peter gives us different names sometimes, maybe Edmund is still here and I just forgot, but I don’t think so.”

Timothy looks down at his hands, knotting his fingers together, then unknotting them, digging his nails into the rope of the hammock as though to pull the whole thing apart. Jane watches him. Should she put an arm around him? What would a good big sister do? He seems so fragile that she fears he might break.

“A long time ago, when Edmund was here, he said that Peter shouldn’t get to be leader because he isn’t even a real boy. He doesn’t have a shadow, and that proves it, that’s what Edmund said.

“They got into a fight about it, a really big one, but Peter never got tired or hurt, and Edmund did. Peter would jump up in the air where Edmund couldn’t reach him and fly in a circle, sticking his tongue out, laughing, and calling Edmund all sorts of names. Nobody even tried to help Edmund.”

Timothy blinks, rubbing at his nose with the back of his hand.

“Then all of a sudden Peter clapped Edmund on the back like they were good friends again and he said he wasn’t cross anymore. I was still scared though, because Peter had the look he has when he thinks of a really good game. He said he and Edmund were going to go someplace secret and no one else was allowed to follow.”

“What happened?” Jane whispers.

Distress is clear in Timothy’s expression, like he’s holding something big and terrible inside him and it’s pressing out against his skin.

She’s afraid he will wail, and draw the attention of the others. Once Peter grows bored with tormenting Rufus, he might come looking for her.

“It’s okay,” she says, trying to make her voice soothing, trying to sound like she believes her words, and there is nothing to be afraid of at all.

“I did a really bad thing.” Timothy’s eyes fill, tears over whelming them and hovering on his lashes. “I followed even though Peter said not to, because I wanted to see the secret, and I wanted to make sure Edmund was okay. I tried to be really brave and really quiet and…”

Timothy’s lower lip quivers. Jane hugs him close, presses her nose to the top of his head, feeling his body tremble against her. But the cry she fears never comes and Timothy takes a deep breath, squirming away so he can look up at her. There is determination in his eyes now, and she can see that he’s trying to be very brave and very quiet all over again, and her heart aches for him.