Chapters (55)
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- CONTENTS
- Foreword to The Cullen Collection
- Introduction to Weighed and Wanting
- 1. A Bad Weather Holiday
- 2. An Eventful Walk
- 3. Hester Alone
- 4. The Aquarium
- 5. Amy Amber
- 6. Cornelius and Vavasor
- 7. Hester and Amy
- 8. A Beginning in Hester
- 9. A Private Exhibition
- 10. Vavasor and Hester
- 11. The Concert Room
- 12. Sudden Change
- 13. Yrndale
- 14. Down the Hill
- 15. Out of the Frying Pan
- 16. Waiting a Purpose
- 17. Major H. G. Marvel
- 18. The Major and Vavasor
- 19. A Walk Along the River
- 20. An Unpleasant Interview
- 21. Corney’s Holiday
- 22. A Distinguished Guest
- 23. Courtship in Earnest
- 24. Calamity
- 25. In London
- 26. A Talk with the Major
- 27. A Scuffle
- 28. Gartley and the Major
- 29. Further Down
- 30. Differences
- 31. Deep Calleth Unto Deep
- 32. Deliverance
- 33. On the Way Up
- 34. The Attic Room
- 35. Amy and Corney
- 36. Miss Vavasor
- 37. Mr. Christopher
- 38. An Arrangement
- 39. Things at Yrndale
- 40. The Return
- 41. A Sad Beginning
- 42. Mother and Son
- 43. Miss Dasomma and Amy
- 44. The Sick Room
- 45. Vengeance Is Mine
- 46. Father and Daughter-in-law
- 47. The Message
- 48. A Family
- 49. A Birthday Gift
- ENDNOTES
She would liked to have written at once, but she did not know exactly where he was. But a far stronger reason against writing was that if she wrote, she could not know how he received her sad story. If his mind required making up, which was what she feared, he would have time for it. She must, therefore, communicate the dread message with her own lips. She must see how he took it! If he showed the slightest change toward her, the least tendency to regard the relationship now as an entanglement that he regretted, she could not marry him. If he could not be her earthly refuge in this trouble, she would have none of him. If it should break her heart she would have none of him! But break her heart it would not! There were worse evils than losing a lover! There was losing a true man.
The behaviour of Cornelius had perhaps made her more capable of doubt. Possibly her righteous anger with him inclined her to imagine grounds of anger with another. Probably this feeling of uncertainty regarding her fiancé had been prepared for by things that had passed between them since their engagement, but upon which she had not allowed herself to dwell. Now she was almost in a mood to quarrel with him. Brought to moral bay, she stood with her head high, her soul roused, and every nerve strung to defence. She had not yet cast herself on the care of her Father in heaven. But he was not far from her.
Yet deeper into the brooding fit she sank. Weary with her journey and the sleepless night, her brain seemed to work itself. Then suddenly came the thought that here she was again in the midst of her poor. But how was she to face them and hold her head up among them now? Who was she, of a family of sinners, to speak a word to them? How lightly the poor bore such ills. Even the honest of them would have this cousin or that uncle in jail for so many months, and think no less of him when he was out again. Nothing could degrade them beyond the reach of their sympathies! They had no thought of priding themselves against another because they themselves had not broken the law.