Donovan lifted his hands in a helpless gesture. “Yes. No. I don’t know. It’s not all about you. Part of it is the department. There’s so much corruption there. I’m just… tired of it all. Of getting up every single fucking morning and knowing that I’m fighting a losing battle. I’m on the edge here, Gin. Close to becoming just like all the other crooked cops in this city. Letting you go after Alexis James was one thing. She came after both of us first. But Tobias Dawson, that was different. If it had been anyone but you, I would have cuffed your ass and dragged you down to headquarters before you got anywhere near Dawson. But I didn’t. And I regret it. More than you’ll ever know. I’m sorry, Gin. I want you to know that. I really am sorry.”

“No,” I said. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m sorry I wasted my time on you. Face it, Donovan. You’re not leaving town because I killed Dawson. You’re leaving town because you didn’t stop me from doing it. Because you didn’t have the strength to. Because even now, despite everything, you still want to fuck me. You’re running away because your morals are more important to you than anything else, including what you could have with me.”

Donovan flinched, but he didn’t deny the truth of my words. It was too late for that. Now the detective just looked weary. His resignation only made me angrier. For a moment, the rage surged through me, hard and cold and bitter as bile. I wanted to throw something, break something. I wanted to break him. Palm my knife, step forward, and slash his throat with it. Hurt him like he was hurting me.

But I drew in a breath. I might wound Donovan with words, but nothing else. I might be a former assassin, but I was better than that. I’d never killed out of passion, and I wasn’t going to start now. The detective wasn’t worth it.

“You turned your back on me at the mine because you were glad I was dead,” I said. “Because the choice to be with me had been taken out of your hands, and your precious morals were still intact. And then I popped up again, still alive. And you were right back to square one. That’s the real truth, isn’t it?”

He didn’t say anything. And I finally let myself acknowledge something I’d known all along. Donovan Caine wanted me, but he wasn’t strong enough to accept me. Not my past, not my strength, not the woman I was. Bitter disappointment filled me, replacing my rage, but I forced myself to ask the final question I wanted an answer to.

“Where are you going?”