BooksBarbecue
Back We Were Killers Once
Chapters (65)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. One
  5. Two
  6. Three
  7. Four
  8. Five
  9. Six
  10. Seven
  11. Eight
  12. Nine
  13. Ten
  14. Eleven
  15. Twelve
  16. Thirteen
  17. Fourteen
  18. Fifteen
  19. Sixteen
  20. Seventeen
  21. Eighteen
  22. Nineteen
  23. Twenty
  24. Twenty–one
  25. Twenty–two
  26. Twenty–three
  27. Twenty–four
  28. Twenty–five
  29. Twenty–six
  30. Twenty–seven
  31. Twenty–eight
  32. Twenty–nine
  33. Thirty
  34. Thirty–one
  35. Thirty–two
  36. Thirty–three
  37. Thirty–four
  38. Thirty–five
  39. Thirty–six
  40. Thirty–seven
  41. Thirty–eight
  42. Thirty–nine
  43. Forty
  44. Forty–one
  45. Forty–two
  46. Forty–three
  47. Forty–four
  48. Forty–five
  49. Forty–six
  50. Forty–seven
  51. Forty–eight
  52. Forty–nine
  53. Fifty
  54. Fifty–one
  55. Fifty–two
  56. Fifty–three
  57. Fifty–four
  58. Fifty–five
  59. Fifty–six
  60. Fifty–seven
  61. Author’s Note
  62. Acknowledgments
  63. Also by Becky Masterman
  64. About the Author
  65. Newsletter Sign-up

The girl looked like she was trying to form words maybe to say please don’t hurt me, but her lips were twitching so much they could not form the words and she had no breath.

Stop it, I yelled. I felt like I was there but not there. I yelled stop it again and my voice, which had a buzzing quality to it, seemed to come from someone other than me.

No one will ever know. We are the only ones who will know what you did. Or didn’t do. I don’t know which is worse. The kid said these things.

The girl’s eyes bugged out at me. They could not have been bigger. Her breath was harsh now, in and out.

Can you get it up? He would not stop.

I do not know why, but I raised the shotgun and screamed shut up. I don’t know if I was screaming it because of the taunts, or at the girl because of her loud breathing. There were those eyes. I told her to turn her head to the wall. She did. Then I fired the shotgun. I will never know why I did that, but I had to stop her from looking at me that way. I hated her for being so afraid of me. Why was she so afraid? I would not have hurt her otherwise, in any way. I am not a bad man. I had never killed anyone before. Or after. Maybe I had some strange feelings now and then, but I had never even molested anyone, and I do not know where Perry came up with this.

So that is what makes this part of my telling a real confession. Perry was telling the truth shortly after we were arrested, when he said I killed Nancy Clutter. Before we changed our confession so Perry took all the blame. I wish to be forgiven this sin before I go to the gallows.

After that the money was forgotten. Things happened fast. The kid made a whooping noise, took the shotgun from me, went into Mrs. Clutter’s room and shot her. Then he went down to the basement. We had followed him into the bedroom to see him kill Mrs. Clutter but he ran ahead down the stairs. Perry stopped to pick up the shotgun shell casing and we heard the shotgun go off again. When we got down to the basement, we saw the boy dead on the couch.

Mr. Clutter screamed my son my son. He was in the other room and did not see what happened, but he knew.