Back We Have Always Been Here Save as PDF
Chapters (30)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Personnel Manifest of the YT Deucalion
  4. 1.
  5. 2.
  6. 3.
  7. 4.
  8. 5.
  9. 6.
  10. 7.
  11. 8.
  12. 9.
  13. 10.
  14. 11.
  15. 12.
  16. 13.
  17. 14.
  18. 15.
  19. 16.
  20. 17.
  21. 18.
  22. 19.
  23. 20.
  24. 21.
  25. 22.
  26. 23.
  27. 24.
  28. 25.
  29. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  30. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Did he have anything to do with Park losing consciousness?

Dully Park could hear the thudding of her own heart, as if she were listening to someone else’s. I must have fainted, she thought. The physical strains of the mission—of everything, from the shooting to the blackout—had pushed her to her limit. It was a simple enough explanation. She had never left Earth before. She was unprepared for the stresses that awaited her in space. There was no need to let her other anxieties complicate it. Right?

She tried to look at her hands in the dark. Even though she had never left the Deucalion, her time on Eos was taking its toll—she couldn’t imagine the physical effects it was having on the actual expedition members. Already the ends of her thumbs were fissuring, her skin drying out from the dry, cold air. She was afraid that her face would wither—then felt surprised by her own concern. Since when had she been vain? But somehow it still seemed to matter, what she would look like when they went home.

If we make it home, she thought, with a sudden kind of bitter rage. She thought back on her dream—her memories, flapping around in the alcove of her brain like bats. “It’s all right, Grace, I’m here.” That was what Glenn had told her, that day they’d lost Dataran. She’d questioned her own sanity then, too. “I’ll always be here.”

Only he wasn’t, Park thought, gritting her teeth against the acid rush of feeling. He wasn’t here with her. In a way, he never had been.

Suddenly she became aware of voices, somewhere beyond the curtain that separated her module from the rest of the medical bay. Male voices, familiar ones, moving through the hall outside. There was the faint sweep of utility lights; the sound of Ellenex or whichever android it was scurrying out of their way. Fulbreech’s voice, Park thought, recognizing him first. And Boone. Arguing about—her?

“She’s going the way of Holt and Ma,” Boone said, not bothering to hush his voice. “I’m not surprised.”

“No,” Fulbreech said in a harsh whisper. “If she says she saw something, then she saw it.”

“Did you see it?”

A pause. When Fulbreech didn’t answer, Boone said with contempt, “She saw a mirage.”

“Mirages are optical illusions caused by light rays and temperature changes, Boone. I think what you mean is a hallucination.”

Boone grunted. “Whatever.”

Fulbreech said, almost to himself: “But what on earth was she doing down there with Sagara?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it. I hope she hasn’t gotten to him.”

“Gotten to him?”