‘I’ve had the most amazing evening, thank you so much but I’m honestly exhausted and a little bit tipsy, and Mum and Dad are going to be expecting me to help with breakfast service again. So if you don’t mind I think I really need to go to bed. Sleep. In the Pintail room. Sorry.’

For the second time that day I ran away from Daniel Perry.

26

I spent a long, unpleasant night going over and over how much I hated myself before tumbling into dreams where I was Nora Sharp, writing the worst review ever about the Tufted Duck, and Damson Farm, my words spewing out in a torrent of hate until I realised, with a mixture of relief and disgust, that the reviews were actually all about me.

An hour flipping hash browns and frying mushrooms before the sun had even come up was a good way to find some perspective. Throw in a mild hangover, my mother’s pragmatic instructions and a mix-up with the baked beans, and by the time Daniel and Hope emerged I was as ready as I was ever going to be to face him.

‘Sorry about last night. Again.’ I placed a stack of pancakes and various toppings on the table, and went back to fetch a pot of coffee.

‘No, I’m sorry. Again.’ Daniel squinted. ‘Did I totally misread things?’

‘No.’ I shook my head, my heart so confused it hurt. ‘I meant it about having an amazing time.’ I dared to peep at him from under my eyelashes. ‘Every time I have with you is amazing.’

Oh, Eleanor, you are playing with fire. Where are you hoping to go with this?

Maybe I was hoping to have some more amazing times, with a wonderful man, and see how it goes without overthinking it all! Maybe normal people don’t feel obliged to confess their worst secrets to a potential boyfriend on their first date?

Maybe.

Daniel was trying to play it cool, but a flush of pale pink had crept up the side of his neck.

‘So, what now?’ he asked, handing Hope a chunk of pancake.

‘Um, well, check-out is by eleven, but we don’t have to head straight home, we could go for a walk, or take a boat out on the lake? It’s probably warm enough for a picnic.’

Daniel smiled. ‘Yes to all of those things. But what now for you and me?’

To my relief, I managed not to splurt out my mouthful of coffee.

‘Um?’

‘I know it’s not cool to be applying labels after one date, but we have been living together for two months. I got virtually no sleep last night thinking about you. About us. About whether there was any chance of there being an us.’ He paused to smile at my mum as she strode past, flicking seamlessly back to me the second she’d moved out of earshot. ‘I’m not sure I can bear to go back home not knowing whether there’s at least a chance of being able to kiss you good morning, or stare at you across the dinner table, or ask if you want to stay up late and talk without you running away again.’