“I’m going to taste you while I fuck you better than he ever could,” he says before pulling my wet fingers into his mouth.

You’d think this position would be awkward. It should be awkward.

But he told me earlier…he’s not a should’ve guy. And the way he sucks on my fingers while he guides me up and down his cock…..

Nothing’s touching my clit, but before I know it, I’m close again.

And that’s when he stops again, releasing my fingers from his mouth and pulling me up and off his cock, even though I’m doing everything right—everything he told me.

I whimper with frustration. “Why won’t you…?” I start to ask.

“I’m not done punishing you,” he answers—right before he pushes me face down on the bed and blankets me with his heavy body.

“You said you belonged to me before, but then you sent me away.” His voice is back in my ear, growling and mean. “You gave yourself to somebody else. Tell me about it. Did you just lay there while he fucked you? Close your eyes and think about me?”

I still beneath him. How did he know?

“I tried to fuck other girls too when I came back here,” he answers as if I asked the question out loud. “Tried to forget you like you tried to forget me. Tried not to be crazy for once because you acted like you didn’t want me. But I knew it was wrong. I knew I had no business up in another girl, even while I was fucking them. And that’s why you just laid there, still as you could. Because you knew who you truly belonged to the entire time you were with him.”

I could try to deny every crazy, possessive thing he’s saying. I could…but he’s right.

I recall the guilt and bad feelings when I slept with Jonathan, even though I achieved my goal of controlling my hit reflex when he took me to bed. There was also the strange gratitude that he was way too busy most nights for sex more than once or twice every other week. And the relief I felt whenever the deed was done. Not because I was satisfied, but because it was over.

It had been the opposite of everything I felt during those few days with Waylon when we couldn’t get enough of each other.

“This isn’t just a punishment, angel,” Waylon informs me from above, speaking into my epiphanies. “This is a reclaiming. The condom’s coming off, and I’m going to take your ass. It was okay to fight me on the other stuff, but not on this. I’m going to take your ass raw, and you’re going to give it to me simply because it’s something you never gave to him.”