‘On that day, I carried an unbearable weight inside me. There was a persistent pain I couldn’t get rid of. I was suffocating. I couldn’t hold myself in any longer. I opened my mouth and began to shout unintelligible words. I screamed my heart out, like a possessed person, until my voice became hoarse. Then I picked up the pebbles around me and threw them into the water. I only stopped after I collapsed from exhaustion. I lay on the grass patch and looked at the cloudless sky. Or perhaps, there were some clouds, but I couldn’t see clearly … because I was crying.

‘I left when I noticed a group of teenagers coming with a soccer ball. But you know, for some strange reason, I skipped all the way back to the station. Somehow, I felt much lighter. The sadness lingered, but it no longer held me down. Is that what people refer to as letting go?’

She waited for him to answer. Instead, Shoji asked, ‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘I’ve no idea. I’ve never told anyone before,’ Liyun said. ‘Don’t mind me. Sometimes I do weird things.’ She turned to him. ‘Do you want me to take you there? But you must promise to keep the place a secret.’

‘Who do you think I’d want to share it with?’

‘Who knows?’ She shrugged and stared at him with her bright eyes. ‘So, is that a yes?’

‘All right.’

Her lips curved into a smile. ‘It’s a promise.’ And then she looked at him gently. ‘Shoji, I know you’ve been going through a lot. You don’t need to always be strong. At least not in front of me. We’re friends, aren’t we? You can share your burden with me. You’re not alone.’

Shoji averted his eyes. ‘I don’t know what you see in me. You probably think I’m a good guy, but I’m not. I’ve made many mistakes, and I’ve brought a lot of misfortune to the people around me. Whenever I care about someone, I always end up harming them. You should assume it’s never going to be safe with me. You should lea—’

‘Hey,’ Liyun cut him off. ‘It’s all right. I’m not a good person either. And I might not look very dependable, but I’m strong. You don’t need to protect me. I know how to take care of myself.’

‘You wouldn’t understand, Liyun.’

‘Then explain it to me.’

‘I can’t,’ he said. ‘I don’t know how.’