“I think someone knows I live here. Last night…I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking rocks or something were hitting my window. Pebbles. I was too afraid to look. I don’t care for me, you know, if they know I’m here. But I just don’t want them messing up your house. But it kept going all night. And just like, dogs howling? Everywhere. I thought I was dreaming or something. Maybe because I’m not sleeping…I don’t know. I just don’t. I’m…Amelia, I’m going to go lie down.”

“Harper,” Amelia said. “Tomorrow I’m going to drive us to somewhere nice. Somewhere we can just try to feel normal for a little bit. Someplace with no past. St. Louis or something.”

“I don’t know,” Harper said. “I don’t know if I have the energy.”

“I don’t care,” Amelia said.

Harper went into the guest room and shut the door. Amelia paused at the base of the stairs, standing there flippantly with her hands on her hips. There was a powerful, motherly storm of meddling brewing within her. The base of the stairs/top of the stairs discussion had been a staple between her and Edi. Like this, it was usually about leaving the house, but for different reasons.

Feel dead already dead social media bullying feel dead already dead…

Amelia’s face hardened into a frown. She pursed her lips together and headed to the kitchen. She took a large plastic container out from under the sink and placed all of the sharp knives in the kitchen inside of it.

Manically over and over, suicide suicide suicide she’s going to suicide suicide risk social media bullying dead feel dead see it all the time on the news all the time in documentaries people always talk about how bad it is but when it comes to their town no one gives a shit no one is SMART enough to grieve correctly so they just RUIN other people it’s very simple and NOW she is going to suicide or she might and I have to be prepared she’s up all night she can get anything—

She looked through the cabinets and took out all the medicine and threw it in the box. She stared at a bottle of vitamin C for two minutes straight and placed it in the box. She opened the fridge and looked at a bottle of wine for a minute before putting it back in. She looked at the chemicals under the sink and put the bleach inside of the box. She went to the garage and opened the garage door. She hid the garage door opener in her purse with her car keys. She decided that she would sleep with these in her room with her bedroom door locked. She rummaged around in the bathroom that her and Harper shared and got rid of all the razors.