“You never get up close. You never see it leave. You never see people die slow. Dying is a number to you. It measures the war to you. That’s all. Have you ever seen anyone die up close?” Torbil said.

“No,” I said.

“Okay,” Torbil said, “that’s all I wanted to know.”

He stood up, and pulled at the chain around my waist.

“We’re marching west. I realize all we’ve been doing is moving farther and farther west. That won’t last forever,” Torbil said.

“Where are we heading?” I said.

“You know, I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that. I really have. It’s been, what, how many days now that I’ve been dragging you around? Cooking rabbit for you? Yelling at you and calling you a little nasty weirdo with mutilated genitalia?”

“It has been two weeks,” I said, shaking.

“Why are you shaking?” He said.

“It should not be my concern where we are heading. I am supposed to merely observe and document. It is irrelevant. I made a lapse in judgment,” I said.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said.

“It is irrelevant.”

“You wanted to know, so you asked. It’s simple. For the first time in two weeks, you asked. It’s fucking great. I’m honestly so happy you asked. You do want to know, right?”

“If you tell me, I will document it.”

“No, no, no, fuck no. Do you want to know?”

I remained silent. This seemed to upset him, and he dropped the chain. He approached me menacingly. I stood still.

“I don’t give a fuck what you say or how you act, Recorder. But regardless of whatever front you put on or what you are like, you are human whether you like it or not. Do you understand me? You are a fucking human being whether you like it or not. It makes me fucking sick to watch you try to remain neutral, surrounded by all this fucking wretched shit. Why fake it? Why? The world reeks of piss with all these people and gods and magic and you just fucking watch while pursing your lips. Fuck.”

Torbil turned and began walking away. He did not pick up the chains he had bound me in. I followed, dragging my chains behind me.

“We’re going to the Emerson Bridge,” Torbil said.

I remained silent.

“I got to go up north. The Vetian Army found some mural the barbarians and those tree men, the Cedrus, worship. I’m going to go read it.”

I remained silent.

“I also would very much like to see how you react if I kill a guy in front of you. If I told you all you had to do was say “stop,” and I wouldn’t kill him, would you say it? It’s very interesting to me to know.”

I remained silent.

“It would be so interesting to find out.”

•••