“I don’t know how I’d react if that happened,” she admitted frankly. “I’m afraid to find out. But what I’m even more afraid of is that if the two of you did become lovers, the secret would be impossible to keep. There are too many ways to spy on anyone, and too many people with too much to lose who must want desperately to find proof of his infidelity with you. If they do, that proof will be made public, and any good I may accomplish by telling the world I was never wronged will be instantly undone. In fact, my protestation of his innocence will only make it even worse. And to be totally honest, I’m very much afraid that if the two of you continue to work so closely together, eventually he will act upon his feelings. I don’t know what that would do to him, in the long run, any more than I know what it would do to me, but I’m afraid we may both find out. Unless…”

“Unless what?” Honor’s voice was tight, and her hands tightened on Nimitz’s softness, as well.

“Unless you do what he can’t,” Emily said steadily. “As long as both of you are on the same planet, you must work together as political partners. Because you two are—or were, before this all happened—our most effective political weapons, and because if you stop working together, it will be taken as proof of guilt. But for that to be possible, you must ensure that nothing else ever happens between you. It isn’t fair. I know that. And I’m not telling you this as an anxious wife, fearful that her husband will find someone he loves more than her. I’m telling you because it would be political suicide, and not just for you and Hamish, if the two of you ever became lovers, especially after I come forward and assure the entire Star Kingdom that you never have.

“For more than fifty T-years, my husband has been absolutely faithful to me in every way that truly matters, despite my confinement to this chair. But this time, Honor—this time, I don’t think he’s strong enough. Or not that, so much, as that I think this time he’s up against something too strong for him. So you have to be his strength. Fair or not, you have to be the one to maintain the distance and the separation between you.”

“I know that,” Honor said softly. “I know that. I’ve known it for years now, Emily. I have to maintain the separation, never let him love me. Never let myself love him.”

She looked at her hostess, her face tight with pain.

“I know that… and I can’t,” she whispered, and Lady Emily White Haven stared at her in horror as Admiral Lady Dame Honor Harrington, Duchess and Steadholder Harrington, burst into tears.

Chapter Thirteen

DINNER was indeed cold by the time they got to it.

Honor had no idea how the complex, jagged-edged situation was going to resolve itself. For that matter, she didn’t even know what she herself felt. She only knew she was afraid to find out.