Chapters (34)
“Everyone says last winter was pretty unusual, though, like it was some kind of global-warming thing. But this year is already so cold, and the pack ice is coming like a whole month early . . .” Dorian’s face was against hers as he spoke. His cheeks felt burning hot after the bitter chill of the Bering Sea.
“My cave’s been freezing over,” Luce admitted, and Dorian flinched as if she’d smacked him. She hadn’t meant to tell him that, at least not yet, but somehow the words slipped from her.
“You’re going to have to leave, Luce! You should really go now, today, before it gets any worse. And it might be months before you can get back here, and we can’t even e-mail . . .” Dorian sounded despairing now. “Lindy says sometimes the ice doesn’t start melting until March. Even April. Luce!”
He was right, of course. Luce didn’t answer at first, just held him in her arms and tried to think of something she could do, some way she could keep reality at bay for a little longer. Nothing occurred to her. “I love you so much, Dorian,” she whispered at last. She fought to hold back her rising tears and failed.
“I love you so much, too. You’re really all I want, Luce. In the whole world . . .”
“What if . . .” Luce hesitated. “Dorian, what if I can never turn human again? Would it be better . . .” Would it be better for you if I just stayed gone? Luce thought. But she couldn’t say the words out loud.
“I love you anyway. I want you to be human, Luce. I want to make a real life with you and grow up with you. But I’m in love with you no matter what you are.” He pulled back just far enough to look at her. “You promise me you’re going to come back? As soon as the ice breaks up?”
“I promise,” Luce told him. His lips were brushing across hers, and his ochre eyes swayed across her vision like satellites.
“No matter what?” Dorian whispered. “You won’t abandon me again?”
“No matter what. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“And you promise you’ll be careful, Luce? You won’t try any more of your crazy heroic stuff?”
“I’ll be careful. But Dorian . . .” She squirmed in his hands, trying to pull back enough to look at him straight. She wasn’t sure if she could say this.
“Baby?” He was trying to tug her close again, and Luce knew that once he did she wouldn’t talk for a long time.
“Do you want me anyway? Even though I can’t be with you the way a human girl could?” She’d almost choked on the words, but now they were out. Dorian’s face was buried in her hair; she couldn’t tell how he was reacting.