* * *

A breeze picked up on the way back to shore. Thirsty and hungry on top of being cold, Fire tried to distract himself by singing and making lists of things—cars, books, countries, airlines, anything to stop thinking about the single knot of pain that had formed in his heart as he admitted to himself how deep the absence of Sylvia would be in his life. Even though he had grown to accept the notion of life as a series of struggles, he was still finding it difficult to return to the place where he had just lost her. As he began to feel depression claiming him, he willed himself to sleep, hoping he would dream of her. Cutting off the engine, he made a pallet out of rope and burlap sacks and lay there rocking in the bosom of the humming sea.

The stench of the blood in the wood and the searing memories of Sylvia’s love prevented him from sleeping deeply, so when he heard Teego’s anxious call, which came an hour after he’d decided to anchor and rest, it sounded like something supernatural.

“Yow, Fire! Yow, Fire! You deh-deh? You deh-deh?”

There was an insistence in the voice that told him that Teego had been trying for a while, so he made an effort to sound relaxed when he reached for the radio.

“Yow,” he said. “You save any fish for me?”

“Everything awright?” Teego asked. “Cause people start get worried, y’know. And the next thing was gweh happen was a search party. A whole heapa people start worry if you dead or something. Whappen to you out deh?”

“Everything cool,” Fire said, gripping the bench to keep his balance. “I was just out here meditating, y’know, on life and dem ting deh. As a rastaman you supposed to understand dem ting deh.”

He heard Teego’s voice relax as he asked where he was and he told him.

“Well,” Teego said, “we might be able to see you from here, then. Flash the spotlight lemme see.”

Fire flicked the toggle switch a few times. “You see dat?”

“No,” he said. “Do it again.”

After a few seconds, Teego said that all was well, that he could see him now.

“Okay then,” Fire said, settling down to try and sleep again. “I’ll just be another few minutes. Tell everybody to just gwaan enjoy themself.”

“Anyway … is not only that I call you bout still. Somebody waah talk to you.”

“Who?” Fire asked.

“Just cool,” Teego said as Fire began to protest.

“If is I-nelik, tell him that I will deal with him tomorrow. I cyaah really deal with that now.”

“Is not him,” Teego said.

“If is my old man,” Fire said, still feeling angry, “tell him it will just have to wait.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, man. I’m sure. Soon come.”

“Ten-four.”

He lay down again. Fucking Humphrey, he thought. Why does he feel he can talk to me that way?

He began to think of the time he’d asked his mother. She had just taken off from Tinson Pen in her Lockheed Electra and was leveling off over Kingston harbor. “He is jealous of you,” she said. “He thinks I love you more than him.” He asked her if she did. She didn’t answer. Could that be it? he was thinking, as the radio squawked again.