“I’m very sorry,” she said. Her voice was defensive but pleading. “I had no idea that he would come by … and … I didn’t want you to hear all that. I mean, it wasn’t fair to you. But the only other choice I had was to let him in. Which I think would’ve been worse. And why are you dressed? Don’t go.”

“What can I say,” he began, entangling his fingers in his hair. “I shouldn’t have even been here.” He was speaking more to himself than to her. He was blaming himself for the mess, and edging toward the conclusion that things could only get messier. “You’re involved and I should have just left you alone. I shouldn’t have forced things so much.”

She shifted her weight from leg to leg, her arms folded across her chest.

“I’m a grown woman,” she replied. “I can’t be forced. I must have wanted it just as much as you or else it wouldn’t have happened.”

“What is it?“ he asked without raising his head.

“I … don’t know.”

“What is it you don’t know?”

She began to think now. She couldn’t sleep with two men—well, not habitually—and in retrospect she shouldn’t have allowed this affair to happen. But what to do now? Choose, obviously. But she wasn’t prepared for that. If she didn’t have a history with either of them, the choice would’ve been simple. But this was not the case. She wanted one man in her life. That’s what she wanted.

“Could you please look at me, Fire? I hate when people speak to me without looking me in the eye.”

He looked at her. “What is it that you don’t know?” he reiterated.

She looked away. He sucked his teeth.

This is just completely wrong, he thought. It was best for him to go now and pick up the discussion the next day, when both of them had had some time and distance. But still, he was angry—less with her than with himself. And further, he felt clammy. Unlike her, he hadn’t showered since that morning.

“I need to bathe,” he said. “I feel sticky and miserable. May I have a towel, please?”

She returned from the linen closet with an orange one with white stripes. Her face was rolled tight like a cabbage.

Did showering mean that he was staying? She hoped so. But she was scared to ask. Scared of rejection. And embarrassed. He’d heard her lying. What did he think of that? That she lied all the time? She hoped not. Would he doubt everything she’d told him now … about herself and her life?

“Do you have the number for a car service?” he asked. “Or could you tell me how to get home by subway?”

“I’m not chasing you out, y’know.”

“I understand that.”

She was feeling abandoned now. Which made her angry.

“Is that your usual style?” she asked. Her lips were drawn tightly against her teeth. “To fuck women and leave them?”