Back Waiting For an Angel
Chapters (14)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Title Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Publisher’s Note
  6. Acknowledgements
  7. Lomba
  8. The Angel
  9. Bola
  10. Alice
  11. Lomba
  12. Kela
  13. James
  14. Afterword

Her face broke into a wide, dimpled smile. She was actually pretty. A little past her prime, past her sell-by date, but still nice, still viable. ‘Oh, no. I am the one that should be glad. I love meeting poets. I love your poems. Really I do.’

‘Not all of them are mine.’

‘I know – but you give them a different feel, a different tone. And also, I discovered your S.O.S. I had to come…’ She picked the poems off the table and handed them to me. There were thirteen of them. Seven were my originals, six were purloined. She had carefully underlined in red ink certain lines in some of them – the same line, actually, recurring.

There was a waiting-to-be-congratulated smile on her face as she awaited my comment.

‘You noticed,’ I said.

‘Of course I did. S.O.S. It wasn’t apparent at first. I began to notice the repetition with the fifth poem. “Save my soul, a prisoner.” ’

‘Save my soul, a prisoner’… The first time I put down the words, in the third poem, it had been non-deliberate, I was just making alliteration. Then I began to repeat it in the subsequent poems. But how could I tell her that the message wasn’t really for her, or for anyone else? It was for myself, perhaps, written by me to my own soul, to every other soul, the collective soul of the universe.

I told her, the first time I wrote it an inmate had died. His name was Thomas. He wasn’t sick. He just started vomiting after the afternoon meal, and before the warders came to take him to the clinic, he died. Just like that. He died. Watching his stiffening face, with the mouth open and the eyes staring, as the inmates took him out of the cell, an irrational fear had gripped me. I saw myself being taken out like that, my lifeless arms dangling, brushing the ground. The fear made me sit down, shaking uncontrollably amidst the flurry of movements and voices excited by the tragedy. I was scared. I felt certain I was going to end up like that. Have you ever felt like that, certain that you are going to die? No? I did. I was going to die. My body would end up in some anonymous mortuary, and later in an unmarked grave, and no one would know. No one would care. It happens every day here. I am a political detainee; if I die I am just one antagonist less. That was when I wrote the S.O.S. It was just a message in a bottle, thrown without much hope into the sea… I stopped speaking when my hands started to shake. I wanted to put them in my pocket to hide them from her. But she had seen it. She left her seat and came to me. She took both my hands in hers.